Recently, I had a discussion with my eight year old daughter as she lay in bed, ready to go to sleep. It had been a long day and I didn't anticipate that a simple tuck-in would turn into a long discussion on the things that were troubling her. She is an incredibly artistic child and my husband and I have watched as her creative gifts have blossomed over the years. However, this wonderful gift of imagination and intuition means that sometimes my daughter's thoughts run awry. She is able to dream up terrifying monsters and scenarios in her little head as she lies in bed at night. 'What-if?' is a question that sometimes inspires her but at other times worries her and she has the ability to think very deeply on issues surrounding her friends, their personalities and the conflicts that are so very troublesome when you are eight years old and learning how to live and relate to those around you.
As we talked, it began to dawn on me that my daughter and I are not so different in the way that we think. Like her, I delve deeply (often too deeply) into the thoughts and intentions of others toward me. I ask questions of what-if that leave my mouth dry and my knees shaking (there seems to be a never-ending supply of these questions at every turn of life). I feel the need to know everything and be assured of the outcome of issues that need time rather than thought to work out. Of course, I'm not afraid of monsters or my friends telling lies about me, but the questions behind both my daughter and my worries are essentially the same; 'What if things aren't ok? What if I'm not safe and things go wrong for me? How will I deal with those things that I can't control?'
We do not like uncertainty!
Through our discussion, I could see so clearly that it is not God's will for us to turn things over and over in our mind, trying to manufacture answers to things we cannot possibly know yet. Uncertainty is a part of life. For personalities like my daughters and mine, uncertainty is particularly terrifying, and yet it has the potential to lead us into a much more intimate walk with the Lord. As I sat on my daughter's bed, I knew that God was with my daughter, loving her and wanting her to rest her little mind in His protection. He wanted her to put her confidence in the reality that He would be with her as she faced her friends. That His loving arms were around her as she slept and He would be her confidence and her foothold as she faced whatever uncertainty was ahead of her.
The answer to my grown-up fears is no different. God is going with me as I get up each day. He will be journeying with me into every tomorrow for the rest of my life. Not only does He travel with me, but He promises to deliver me from my fears, to work all things together for good and to complete the work of Christ within me.
Knowing the answers to everything that lies ahead is a temptation that drives much of my thinking and yet God doesn't ask me to figure things out. He asks me to trust Him. No matter what comes my way, His presence, grace and good will toward me are a certainty and something that I can rest in.
'You have hedged me behind and before,
And laid Your hand upon me....
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Or where can I flee from Your presence?
If I ascend into heaven, You are there;
If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.
If I take the wings of the morning,
And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
Even there Your hand shall lead me,
And Your right hand shall hold me.'
Psalm 139:5, 7-10
No comments:
Post a Comment