When People Invade...

Boundaries.
We all need them.
Many of us find it a challenge to exercise them.

I'm having one of those days.
One where the kids just Will.Not.Stop.
They want everything, fight everything and generally treat me like a villain because I won't let them eat desert without dinner or stay up and watch movies. What's worse than people pressing in on you, trying your patience?
Letting them get inside your head.

At least that's my problem. It's not just kids, its anyone. Family, friends, even sales people calling me on my own phone! You see I have this really, really bad problem called self doubt.

It's a tricky one to have because sometimes it feels like self-awareness. Sometimes it feels like grace. Sometimes it feels like loving my neighbour more than myself. But you know what? Its not. When it comes down to it, more often than not, I give in because I'm afraid.
I'm afraid you will judge me.
I'm afraid you won't like me.
I'm afraid you'll think I'm inferior or incapable or inadequate or unkind.
And worst of all, I'm afraid that I'll believe you.

For so many years I have allowed other people's opinions and criticisms to draw the boundary line around my own behaviours. I have pushed myself beyond healthy limit. Accommodated clingy, needy attitudes that have sucked me dry. And not stood up for myself when I really should have.

But you know what I'm slowly learning? If I don't draw a boundary, someone else will. And before you know it, you might find that - like me - you have surrendered an awful lot of real estate in your own life. Or worse still, within your own mind.

People are not our enemy, but the real enemy can use their attitudes and unfair criticisms to keep us bound; to keep us from being who we are really supposed to be. Don't confuse Christian charity for giving in. Saying yes when it should be no is not helpful to anyone. It's not healthy for yourself and its not healthy for the person who just might need to hear that no.

I've decided its time to reclaim a little bit of land back.
Will you join me?

Solution Fixation

Do you ever imagine the perfect solution to the challenges in your life? Perhaps it is your husband learning how to understand you better?

Your children finally listening to what you tell them.

That pesky sickness leaving you alone...

Lately, I've been thinking about the concept of solution-fixation. (don't google it, I made it up) :)

By this, I mean the pattern of thinking we slip into when challenges are on our doorstep; we visualise solutions and tell ourselves 'if only this were to happen, then everything would be okay.'

We can become fixated on that event or lining up of circumstances that will take us away from the challenges at hand. But is this always a healthy approach?

Certainly, creativity is wired into our very being and problems often require critical thinking and imaginative solutions (mixed with a little hard work)... however, becoming fixed on a certain solution - particularly if it is one that is outside of our control or power - can actually do the very opposite of what we are trying to achieve. It can lock us into a victim-mentality and strip us of the power to exert change over our circumstances. When we hinge our own emotional and psychological well being onto a solution that is beyond our reach we lose sight of the valuable lessons that the problem might be trying to teach us. 

In case you haven't noticed, God doesn't magically disintegrate our problems nearly as much as we would like. Trust me, I know: it would be so easy if He just....(insert obvious solution here)

But He doesn't. More often than not, He has us walk through a thing.

But perhaps there is method in His madness....

In our rush for answers, we forget an important principle:

Solutions change things around us.

Problems change things within us.

There is a time and a place for both and God in His wisdom knows exactly which it is you need; and He isn't slow on solution when you really need it. Problems can be more powerful than solutions. They're not easy, but they are potential agents of change. The challenge lies in which way they will change us? Will they make us more frustrated, disappointed and jaded? Or will they lead us into deeper intimacy and dependance on God?

I have a bit of a feeling that God takes His parenting duty very seriously....let him show you what you need to learn to cope with this problem. He won't leave you helpless.

'But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing' 

James 1:4

What did He do?

For as long as I remember, I have theoretically known what Christ achieved on the Cross. Atonement. Propitiation. Sacrifice. It has become a pat, dusty little theology sitting in the unused corners of my mind for much of my adult life. Theologically dry and practically inaccessible.

I am left with a dutiful amount of gratitude but also find myself wondering, what am I missing here? Is Calvary overrated? Over advertised? Short on delivery? Because when I look around, I don't see nearly so much dynamo unleashed that you would expect given the sheer amount of real estate given this work in the Bible. The Cross was changing lives. Literally tearing them apart and making something new. As a Christian, I see the rhythmic beat of redemption in the life of His followers. The steady, quiet work as we are shaped by the Great Parent, but I rarely see the life-cracking power of Calvary grasped tenaciously, turning agony to victory, stirring hope like elixir through the bitter brew of broken lives. Why do so many of us Christ-followers seem to struggle with many of the painful pitfalls and despairs experienced by broken society? Where is our hope? Where is our power? I'm not talking vague, pat 'everything will be ok one day' mentalities... Don't get me wrong, these attitudes are good, necessary: great in fact! But where is the power of the cross in our today? Is there some powerful concept woven into the fabric of that controversial event that we are missing....a secret awaiting our discovery, readily accessible moment by moment in all our agonies and victories, trials and triumphs? And if so, what does it look like in my mind? My life? My skin?

I am no theologian, but I am beginning to reassess how I have viewed the Cross. Because, I'm getting a sneaking suspicion that I am only scratching the dust here and there just might be a wellspring beneath my fingertips. What if the Cross really was the most exciting thing to happen to mankind? What if it truly was the Great Battle Conquered: that mighty and invisible clash of worlds, where the military control of Darkness was literally overthrown and a New Kingdom was set into motion? What if it its implications are as tender as a lover, as real as Youtube and as readily accessible as a breath?
I know, right? It sounds like the stuff of an amazing tv series, but is it real? The short answer is: YES! more real than the skin we inhabit! And I have a growing suspicion that is supposed to crack open our lives, our days, our moments just as it cracked open the very earth beneath His feet.

Because when His body exhaled, an invisible, corrupting Kingdom bled into the dusty ground and began to distort the cells of Fallen Humanity. Like a viral infection leaking into the hopelessness, the despair, the injustice, the loss. Every event from that moment forth: every single exquisite, painful moment from that day until the folding up of this planet, was cataclysmically divided. Hope vs Despair. Redemption vs Destruction. Life vs Death. Within reach of fingers and hearts and minds... The word of the Lord is near.

We are offered a Kingdom. Viral. Wild. Corrosive. Accessible.
The ramifications are dynamic.
Sink your teeth into it. Get your head around it. Let it invade.
It's where our story begins.

Now God

We cop a lot of flack for being the instant generation. Drive-through meals and drive-through coffee. Instant gratification and feedback through social network platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. As a whole, we are considered impatient, demanding and self focused. There is no doubt some truth to these statements, but I believe that if we scratch the surface there is more going on than simple impatience and egocentrism.

An undercurrent of anxiety and uncertainty can be felt in our generation and it has conditioned the way we receive and respond to the world around us. Certain fixed ideals of previous generations have been exposed and proved as flawed. Dogmatism and rigid one-size-fits-all programs have left us scraped and bruised and our generation doesn't want a bar of it (and fair enough). But perhaps the swing of the pendulum has taken us too far in the opposite direction. We are floundering for a lack of any fixed truth. There is little that we can count on and on the whole, a vague sense of powerlessness and anxiety can permeate our every day life.
Given this context, it is understandable that we have grasped for the satisfaction of the instant and attainable. After all, what else is there to hope for? Yesterday has been exposed as a lie. Tomorrow is uncertain. What else do we have but the present moment?

The God of all generations exquisitely understands our position. As the Creator of the human heart and mind, He knows why we think and feel the way we do and He knows exactly what we need. We need a very present, very accessible and instant God. By instant, I do not mean that we need a God who is subject to our whims and desires and sense of timing, rather I am pointing to the fact that we need instant access to His presence, His power and His direction. And there is nothing wrong with this. In fact, In His Word, God has revealed Himself to be completely reliable and readily accessible to those who seek Him.

Consider the immediacy in the following statements.
- The Lord is a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1)
- The Word of the Lord is near, in our hearts and mouths (Deuteronomy 30:14)
- When we call upon Him, He hears us and delivers us from our trouble (Psalm 34:17)
- The Lord is near to those who call upon Him in truth. (Psalm 145:18)

A healthy relationship involves stability, presence and accessibility and God created things to be that way. He didn't create us with needs so that He could leave them unquenched.
The believer is given the divine privilege of constant, need-based access to the life and power of Christ. And the present tense of the great I AM is littered all throughout Scripture.
It is in His presence and perspective that we find the strength, wisdom and patience for the long haul. We are tempered and aligned to His purpose and timing. We recognise the redemption of the past and we take a stance of hope for the future.
God is a very present God.
A now-God for the instant generation.

'For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.'

Hebrews 4:15,16

One Step at a Time

Sometimes, from within our own perspective, it is hard to see the wood for the trees. We become discouraged and restless, sure that our problems will remain problems and that the way we are today is the way we will always be. From within our own subjective space, we can fail to see the progress we are making. We still feel the symptoms of fear and discomfort so we don't recognise that they are becoming fewer and further apart. We don't see the steps we have taken toward freedom, the ground that we are gaining day by day.

One certainty we have in the Lord is this: when we made the choice to invite Christ into our life, something miraculous took place. Something invisible, something spiritual. We were translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. Where we once were on a downward path, spiralling deeper into our sins and ignorance, we have now been miraculously transported to a different trajectory. We are not travelling toward death anymore, but life. Instead of despair, we are walking into hope and as such, we are assured that our future is a safe place. A place of redemption, restoration and recovery.

Even the painful experiences become a 'good pain' when we commit them to Him and choose to trust His words. Rather than bringing destruction, they offer an invitation to partake more deeply of our Heavenly Father's love and healing grace. In effect, even in our stumbling, we are still moving forward, onward and upward toward the light of a new day.

Christ is not confined to time as we are. God revealed himself to Moses as 'I am.' He continues to reveal Himself as a present God, always accessible, always with us. Able to transform our past with His healing revelation. Able to promise His presence in each of our tomorrows. And always present in each moment. In every heartbeat, every breath, as long as we shall live.

'But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.'

Proverbs 4:18

He's Got This

'It's not your story. It's mine.'

These were the words that drifted down quietly from a bright blue afternoon sky as I sat reading on my back deck. The hum of a light aircraft overhead brought with it the comfort of the familiar. Of other warm, pre-summer days spent lazing and reading and hearing from God.

Behind the fence of our tiny strip of backyard grows a massive Elm tree. It's grandeur dominates the simplicity of our plain-grass-and-a-few-shrubs lawn. I watch it unconsciously throughout the year. Monitor its change from season to season. Always being surprised to find it in a different state the when I left it. This particular afternoon I wonder, when did it sprout that dense layer of vibrant foliage? I can see Summer in its wings and wonder how I never noticed until today. Last I remember it was a stretch of bare limbs against a grey sky. Now it holds all the promise of the warm season. All the regularity that I somehow, faintly understand, points back to the faithfulness of our Creator.

I'm recovering from a state of stress that had me in tears. How long will it take me to learn this lesson, I wonder? To wade through this dark night of the soul. And then, like the quiet puncture of the first evening star, come the words. Gentle but steady.
'It's not your story, its mine.'
This life of mine that I keep clutching and trying to control. It's His story. And He writes it in the language of redemption. Why do I always forget this? Why does it take the dam breaking, the bubble bursting?
This clutching business. This worrying and fretting. It needs to end.
Slowly, I think I am coming to understand.

'And He is before all things and in Him all things consist.'

Colossians 1:17

False Truth

I have questions that burn holes in my mind and my heart. Painful, angst-ridden questions that seem to come straight from the mouth of the child-version of myself living within. Throughout my journey, these questions war with my certainty and quietly wrestle Truth. They seem unquenchable in their hunger. Why did that happen? Is God really just? Does He truly care for me? Like molten metal they burn their painful holes through my life, leaving charred reminders of lessons-wrongly-learned that never seem to elude me.

What do I mean by lessons-wrongly-learned?

I mean those significant moments in life where the innermost questions of our being are (seemingly) answered with a truth unbearable and then all of life seems to confirm the reality. Questions surrounding our worth, the justice of God, our dreams and hopes.
Life deals a blow and we accept it as an answer. A proof that we are not good enough, that God does not truly care. That life will never be what we dream it to be.

The trauma inflicted by believing these false-truths can be ongoing. We can even know we are believing a lie but still, our mind, our memories and our emotions tug at our sense of truth. It must be true! We tell ourselves, or why else did this happen? I often wonder how much of my suffering is a result of believing a lie.

These days I am learning to recognise the heavy drag of a false-truth within. Lies deplete and they bind. They steal your energy, your hope and your worth. The truth, on the other hand, sets free. It is spirit and as such it is life-giving, hope-installing and redemptive in nature.

Sometimes the truth is quiet as a whisper. Sometimes it comes freely as a breeze, blowing away the lies. Other times it must be fought for and clung to like a life-raft on a storm-tossed sea.

'Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,

For You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day.'

Psalm 25:4,5