The Power of the Pause

As I write, I am sitting in the café section of McDonalds, surrounded by the sounds of orders being placed and picked up, milk steaming and swirling and the low, incessant mumble of patrons conversing in booths by the back wall. Every now and then a shrill beep is emitted into the air which is already buzzing with noise…It is the alert that an order is ready. The young man behind the counter calls in a loud voice, ‘order 129…’ or ‘order 130…’ or failing that, ‘the skinny soy latte and banana bread?’

And in this low, droning environment (interspersed with moments of chaos) I have decided to write on the power of silence.

Or more specifically, the power of the pause.

So what is the difference between silence and a pause?

Silence is the lack of sound and movement. Silence is an external condition that allows us to experience inner stillness. We run to the Mountains and the rivers and pitch our tents in the back of Burke. We mothers might climb into our wardrobes or our children’s cubbies or our showers for that blissful state of silence. The problem with silence is that it is dependent on all our externals lining up and therefore it is not always attainable when we need it.

While silence helps us to cultivate inner stillness, it is not the pause.

So what then, is the pause?

The pause is the inner stillness.

The pause is where we step away from the man-made world and into what I will call the real world. The world where actual life exists and truth resides quietly, untouched by the chaos. A pause is not a mystical experience or an emotional or sentimental state of being. It is a re-connection with what we already know. Or a gentle easing into we need to know. In the pause, we touch life the way our Creator intended it and everything within us finds alignment. We can breathe and re-orientate ourselves.

The busier we are, the easier it is to lose touch with the pause and start marching to the rhythm of the man-made world, our goals and the demands of life, often without thought or organisation. We simply respond and react and as such we can find ourselves on a path we have not deliberately chosen. We become a twig in a current, thinking we have control, but in reality we are responding to the external influences and not commandeering our lives from a deep sense of still.

Because pause is an internal state, it is independent of the external state of silence. The pause can take place amidst the chaos, untouched by the externals. The pause, practiced regularly, can become a way of life. When we live out of a sense of pause, we notice the person who God might want us to smile at today. We see the couple pushing a pram under a sunny Summer sky and remember that life is changing, that our children are growing, that family is a blessing. We hear the whisper of God saying from behind, ‘go this way’ or ‘go that.’

Life become slower and more purposeful; we can accomplish what we need to do without reacting to the demands in frenetic bursts of unconstrained activity, but rather we respond to life in controlled, peaceful and deliberate movements. We live out of quiet rather than responding to noise.

Silence is wonderful but the pause is powerful. It can be taken with us. Practiced. Listened to. Even in a McDonald’s café :)

Take on the power of the pause. Practice it and cherish it. Life is found within it. 

Five Things to Do when Life Doesn't Go the Way it Should

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Sometimes life doesn't go to plan. It could be an accident, an illness, termination of employment or marriage breakup; the list goes on and on. When life doesn't do what we want it to do, it is easy to become discouraged, worried or depressed. It is easy to feel that God has overlooked us. We may have a season of uncertainty ahead as a result of the curve ball. The gap between illness and health, unemployment and employment or any other period of time where we are left 'dangling.' and it can be hard, particularly for those of us who like to have every thing planned out. Unfortunately it doesn't take long for us to realise that life does not always play to our rules.

So what do we do in these times? How do we garner peace and confidence in the face of uncertainty and unpleasant experiences?

1. Know that God is in the Circumstance

One of the difficult aspects of challenging times is the temptation to believe that God is not present. That He has turned His back in allowing this difficulty to come upon us. The reality is, that God has clearly told us in His word that He will never, ever leave us or forsake us. He has also assured us that all things, no matter how difficult or unpleasant, can work deep,positive change in us if we submit to His perspective on what has happened. One of the privileges of being a child of God is the certainty that He is present and that He extends His hand to help us out of whatever pit or trial has overtaken us.

2. Stop asking 'Why?'

This is the most natural question for us to ask when something doesn't go as planned, however, many things don't make sense in the moment. It is often not until time has passed that we can look back and see the gold that God was working in the darkness. Asking 'why?' can alienate us from the lesson of the trial. Instead of asking 'why', ask 'Lord, what are you teaching me?' I guarantee, He will answer in a most tender and encouraging and sometimes challenging way. And not only that, often as time passes and we grow from the situation, our eyes are opened and we see the why. Not always, but often.

3. Wait for Yahweh

The Bible frequently speaks of the power of waiting on God. It is the deliberate positioning of ourselves (our mental decision) to give the situation to God and to choose to believe that He is, and will continue, to work the situation for our good. This is the position of peace. It is not passive or depressive. It is not resignation in the sense that we give in and expect nothing. Rather, it is the confident and hopeful expectation that God will act on our behalf.
Psalm 27:13 and 14 tell us to wait for and have confident expectation in God.
The Names of God version of the Bible translates these verses as:

'I believe that I will see the goodness of Yahweh in this world of the living. 

Wait with hope for Yahweh. Be strong and let your heart be courageous. 

Yes, wait with hope for Yahweh.'

In this particular version I want to draw your attention to two things. Firstly, the decision we must make to believe that we will see good things once more. Some challenges seem to go on forever. Or roll one after the other. We need to remind ourselves that this too, will pass. God still has good things prepared for us. This will keep us mentally strong and spiritually secure as we wait. The second reason I have chosen this translation is because it uses the Hebrew name for God, Yahweh. This name was considered so sacred by the Israelites that they wouldn't even use it verbally. The name Yahweh embodied all the strength and power and fearfulness of the God who had done mighty things in their midst, which brings me to my next point.

4. Replace Unhealthy fear with Godly fear

Often uncertainty can be a breeding ground for fear. When we do not know what is on the horizon, our mind can fill the blanks with scary what-ifs. Godly fear is often misunderstood, and yet correct fear of the Lord is a wonderful antidote to ungodly fear. It is as we recognise the greatness of Gd, His supremacy over circumstances and diagnosis and all power, that we are filled with an awe. We recognise that nothing is too difficult for Him. that nothing can hinder his work in our lives. We lift our eyes from the circumstances to a God who stands greater, above and beyond in every way.

As Christians we have the blessing and confidence of being able to draw near to God, but we need to be aware that our familiarity with the Lord doesn't cause us to underestimate His strength. We serve the same God who rides the clouds, who sends fire and hail, whose voice splits cedars and sends the deer into labour. He is a mighty force and He has promised to act strong on our behalf. Be encouraged! The God of the universe moves for you! He will draw you up from the waters that threaten to consume you.(Psalm 18)

5. Choose Faith

At our core, we want to know everything. We want answers to all our questions and doubts. We don't want to have to wait or be in a position of uncertainty. That would allow us to bypass the discomfort of trusting. God says in His word that His children live by faith in the Living God. We don't have faith in a code of conduct or a dead text (the Bible) but a living, breathing God who sees the beginning from the end. We might be surprised by our circumstance, but He is not. He saw it coming and will work it for our good. Not only that, God communicates with and draws close to His children through the deliberate enactment of our faith. It's what we have been called to. A life of confident expectation in the goodness of God. This, the Lord rewards. This, the Lord blesses with His very Presence.

Don't despair, no matter how dark the circumstance right now. The fullness of God is available to you now. Draw close. Wait on the Lord!

God's Word to You

I write a lot on this blog about casting down thoughts 

which stand against what God tells us to be true. 

So that leaves us with the question, what is true for the children of God? 

The following are God's words, from His bible to us. 

Take them, be blessed by them, and rest confidently in them 

because they are His promises to you.

Will you trust that your name is inscribed on the palm of My hand, that I could no sooner forget you than a mother could forget the child nursing at her breast? Will you believe that your just claim has come before my ears and that because I hear you, you have what you have asked for? Will you trust that My loving kindness and tender mercies are new every morning, that they will follow you all the days of your life, in every place that your foot shall tread or your wing shall take flight, even to the furthest depths of the sea? In trouble and persecution and nakedness and strife, My love will follow you and even the darkness shall be light about you.

I will deliver you from every snare and every trouble. I will strengthen you with My strength. I will perfect you. I will restore health to you, spirit, soul and body. Will you believe that the day of the righteous - and that means you, child - shines brighter and brighter to the coming day? That you not only have a future and a hope but that My grace is sufficient for your today, for your every trouble and trial? My healing and restoration redeems your yesterday and My strength secures your tomorrow?

You were set apart from your mother's womb, called to be My child, to walk in the works that I called forth for you at the beginning of time. The risen Christ dwells in you to strengthen you and to manifest His glory in your life. You no longer have to answer to sin and fear and sickness; you have been redeemed from the curse of the Law and now answer to a new master, not a slave driver or a task master, but an Abba father, and I am touched with the feelings of your infirmities. You hear My voice because you are the sheep of My pasture and the child of My hand. I have put My spirit in your heart: the Comforter, the Healer, the Counselor who will never leave you or forsake you. He will remind you of all that Christ has done and will do for you. He will remind you that Christ in you, is the hope of glory.

Child, I am committed to your care. I will lead you gently for My yoke is easy and you will learn from My light, un-burdensome and gentle ways. I hedge you both behind and in front and I have wrapped My arms around you. You are nestled between my shoulders, gathered in my arms as a mother hen gathers her little ones. I sing over you with tender mercies and I restore you with songs of deliverance. I teach you when to rest and when to walk. I know when you are weary and I make you lie down in peace. I give you sleep. I restore and refresh your soul, anointing your head with oil and preparing a table for you in the presence of your enemies. I invite you to eat at My table both now and forever.

I have trampled the serpent and all power now belongs to Me. I am the name above every name, power, throne, kingdom, dominion, illness and diagnosis. I have given you My authority to use. I have given you My mind so that you may refute every work and lie of the enemy. No weapon formed against you will prosper, even the gates of hell cannot prevail against you for I have established you. I have set all things beneath your feet.

You are seated in the heavenlies with Christ and all that is His, I give to you. I have blessed you with every spiritual blessing. There is not a day where I will not be with you. I will provide your every need from now until the end of time. My grace is sufficient for you and My strength is perfected in your weakness. All I ask is that you believe. That you trust in me and feed on My faithfulness. I will not, will not, will not fail you. I will not, will not, will not, forsake you. Not ever. I cannot for You are mine and I ransomed My life so that you may live.

I bled for your forgiveness. I cast your sins behind you, removing them from you. As far as the east is from the west, that is how far your wrongdoings are from you. I look at you and see only Christ. You are clothed in My righteousness, clean in my sight, accepted in My family. There is nothing that you can do that will remove My love for you. I bore your sickness so that you could be healed. I became sin so that you could become righteous. I have prepared a home for you in heaven and here you will spend eternity in My presence. I will bless you. I will restore you. I will do the work.

Enter My rest, child, for it has all been done. It is finished. And nothing in heaven or earth can prevent, subdue or undo what I have done. My word cannot return to Me void. What I set to do is accomplished and complete. And I give it to you. Take it by faith, for it is yours and you are Christ's and Christ is mine.

You never need to fear again.

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Journeying with our Doubts

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For the longest time, I used to think that 'faith' was something that naive people clung to in an attempt to ignore reality. When people would tell me that they were trusting God even though they didn't have the answers, I would think, there goes another simple-minded person who is ignoring logic, rationale and progressive thought.

If something in my own life seemed to indicate that God didn't care, that He wasn't who He said He was, I would become convinced that those circumstances and the resulting line of thought had discounted the validity of God's goodness. I saw those niggles of uncertainty as signposts that I was falling for a lie: the Bible couldn't be taken literally. God was not ready to act on my behalf and He didn't really care.

In reality, those thoughts were just doubts.

I struggled with doubts about myself, about God and His word, about life and those around me. At times, I called my doubt 'critical thinking' and was certain that I had found holes in the faith and in what God had said in His word. Don't get me wrong. I was a Christian. I believed in God. I believed in the Bible. But I believed it only up until the point that I could get my head around it. Which would be fine, if I always had a clear grasp on things and was smarter than God. But, I wasn't.

I'm still not.

At first I thought I was in control. I thought that I was structuring my universe and that my critical thinking and the 'instinctive' interpretation of my circumstances would point me to truth and wholeness. Instead, I found that the more real estate I gave these interpretations, the more unsettled and confused I became. The harder it became to believe anything that God said and eventually, all I could hear was fear. I wasn't sure what I believed any more. So I ran. From church and what I had been told and from God. Thankfully, God is a chaser. But the period in my life was dramatic to say the least, a wild navigation into what I actually believed, and at that stage, it wasn't much. I knew God was real. That was a no-brainer. I sensed that He loved me (although I couldn't correlate it with the things I had experienced in my life), but I couldn't go much further than that. As I sifted through all I had been told, all I had been taught, I became an empty slate. I railed against God and I couldn't stomach anything with a remotely 'christian' message. I was up to my eyeballs in teaching and needed truth.

It was a long process. One marked with real transparency as I peeled back the layers of who I was and what I believed. In that experience, God met me and I was blown away by who He actually was, as opposed to who I had thought or been taught He was. The doubts had chewed away the crud. They chewed away some of the good stuff, too, but God restored it.

Out of that (necessary) experience, I learned a vital truth: I learned to recognise that doubts are just doubts; they are not truth. My doubts couldn't discount God's reality, no matter how elaborate, how deeply grounded or how legitimate those doubts felt to me. God either is or He isn't. And if He exists, then He is who He says He is. I can trust it.

So how do we handle our doubts? Do we stuff them all into a box and deny their existence, their legitimacy?

No. We are all on a necessary journey. A journey for truth and God will meet it. But there is an approach that we can take that is healthy and positive and one that will bring more confusion and fear.

In the book of Hosea, God lamented that the Israelites did not 'direct their deeds toward Him' (Hosea 5:4) but instead, turned from Him and looked to their idols for answers. When we see the word 'idols' in the Bible we often think of wooden totems and fail to see the relevancy to our current society, but an idol is anything that we allow to speak to us in such a way that it negates what God has said to be true, be it a painful experience, a popular opinion or intellectual thought. A person.

As I was reading this scripture, I felt the Lord saying; there is nothing wrong with having doubts. It is okay to question, to be scared or confused or angry or lost. God does not disapprove of the raw emotions of His children any more than I disapprove when my children communicate their hurts, questions or complaints about things that happen to them. God met me in my pain. The problem sets in when we use our doubts to distance ourselves from God rather than taking (or directing) them to Him. Don't get me wrong, God pursues, but we can avoid a lot of the pain by taking our issues to God, rather than running with them.

Raw emotion and doubt are part of the human condition. We can expect them, as God does. But when we give our doubts control; when we make the decision that they will be our litmus, our measure for truth, we have alienated ourselves from reality. God exists and He loves, whether we can wrap our mortal minds around it or not.

Know your teams.
Doubt isn't truth.
Doubt is just doubt.

Our Moods are Not the Litmus for Truth

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Our moods are not always accurate measures of reality. We have those days when things seem too hard. Life seems to roll over us wave after wave and its easy to feel that things will never be ok. In that moment, we can lose our hope and when we lose our hope, the day becomes that much harder.

On hard days, we might tell ourselves things like, 'things are never going to get better.' 'I won't be able to find the solution to what I'm facing.' 'I can't do this.' 'I just can't cope.' These messages, repeated over and over in our minds weaken us. We believe they are true and our emotions respond accordingly. We feel depressed. Pessimistic. Anxious. Overwhelmed. From this position, our circumstances seem even more bleak. It's an understandable cycle and an easy habit to get into. But are our emotions an accurate measure of reality? Just because I am feeling overwhelmed and out of solutions today does that mean that I really will not find a solution? That I will be perpetually stuck in the middle of the problem I am facing?

If one thing is certain in life, it is change. Nothing last forever. For God's children, we have the promise that when we cry out, God hears us and delivers us out of all our troubles. Not only that, but we have the assurance that all things are working for our good. The trials we are finding so difficult can be pillars of strength, forging faith and confidence within us as we press into God and trust Him.

And how do we do this?

We have to teach ourselves how to think. We must hold each thought up to the truth of what God says. If the thought or emotion conflicts with something that God has revealed to you, you need to reject it and replace it with His truth. This is what God talks of when He tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Following God's advice to reject those negative, depressing and untruthful thoughts and replacing them with His comforting, hopeful ones is the fastest way to mental health and emotional stability. His truths are a splint for your minds and your emotions. But it takes practice. What we choose to think on will feed our emotions. Choose good food.

Here are some of the promises of God that can encourage you on hard days. Use them. Choose them. Believe them. Bring to memory those times when God has come through for you. Meditate on them and let their truth uplift you. It will be life to your body and health to your bones.


- God hears you when you cry out and promises to bring you out of all your troubles (Psalm 34:17)

- Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life (Psalm 23:6)

- God is going to work all things together for your good, even the hard things (Romans 8:28)

- God is moved with compassion by the difficulties you are facing (Psalm 112:4)

- You are growing strong by that which comes against you: growing in perseverance, character and hope (Romans 5:3,4)

- He will strengthen you as you wait on Him (Isaiah 40:31)

These encouraging truths are just scratching the tip of the iceberg of all the promises of God toward us. Try doing a keyword search in a Bible website like this one. Are you feeling hopeless? Do a search on hope and see what God has to say. Are you sick? Search for healing and see the Lord's opinion on it. Train yourselves to these truths. Be encouraged by the hope that lies in them. These are your measure of reality, not your emotions, and by them, you will grow strong, able to face the challenges that come your way.

Peace Beyond the Pain: the Brain's Ability to Heal Itself

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'My soul still remembers and sinks within me...' Lamentations 3:20 

We have a small part of our brain called the hypothalamus. This part of our brain is where all our most difficult, scarring and traumatising memories are stored and I have spoken briefly of it before. When we have been through something painful, the physical residence of this memory is the hypothalamus.

It used to be a belief that our brains were fixed. Those with mental disabilities, illnesses or those who had experienced traumas were believed to be permanently scarred, affected or doomed to the chemical changes that these events or illnesses had marked on their brains. Of course, the Bible never bought into this, but always offered hope with the instruction, 'be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'

In recent years, scientists have made groundbreaking discoveries about the plasticity of the brain. That is, the understanding that the brain is not actually fixed but is moldable, malleable and wired to return to health. There are a number of books out there outlining these encouraging scientific breakthroughs (I would recommend The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge and Switch On Your Brain by Dr Caroline Leaf). These new findings offer hope to those with troubling pasts, emotional struggles and substantiate the Bible's assurance that personal, mental transformation is well within our grasp.

Amongst this emerging research is the new understanding that memories, too, are not fixed. Rather, they are malleable and subject to reinterpretation each time they are brought back to the conscious mind. This is significant for a number of reasons.

1. It offers hope for those scarred by trauma
2. It puts control back in our hands: we don't have to live and relive those most painful events
3. It confirms God's instruction to choose our thoughts carefully: we have the power to reinforce and re-traumatise ourselves by continuing to bring the painful memories to mind, or we can learn how to re-frame those memories in light of His love and receive God's healing *

In the verse from Lamentations above, we are given a hint at how the human mind operates.

Science recognises a thought as a cognitive event. A chemical impulse that marks a physical landscape on brain matter. In effect, we are continually shaping, inventing and reinventing ourselves based on what we choose to think, believe and meditate on. For those of us who struggle with negative emotional habits and thought patterns (depression, anxiety etc) we know all too well that the brain can reach a state of near perpetual negativity; a bias whereby we distort incoming data based on our pre-existing fears and disillusionment. Rather than seeing life for what it truly is, we distort it according to our fear, traumatic memories and subsequent pessimism. It can be a nasty habit and one that snowballs until our default setting seems to be misery.

Our Lamenting prophet demonstrates the pain that results from bringing back to mind those scarring events: as he recalls the pain of the past, his soul sinks within him. The more we bring to mind the negative events of our past; our perceived failings, our disillusionment, the darker and more depressed we will become.

But there is hope.

Neuroplasticity is God's proof that the redemption of the mind is scientific, tangible and attainable.
We can train ourselves back to peace.

The passage goes on to say:

'This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed. Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning.' vs. 21-23a

I want you to look closely at the sequence of mental events that take place in this passage. Following the recollection of the traumatic, afflicted memory, the writer's soul 'sinks within him.' As he moves to a new mental state, we witness the following:

1. Another recollection is brought to mind: the Lord's faithfulness

2. By switching his mind to the Lord and not the event, the prophet's soul goes from sinking to hopeful 

3. Although the writer has experienced something very painful and real, there is the promise of something new. Something steady, available every morning: the Lord's compassions.

In these verses we are given a snapshot of how we can go about dealing with our own painful thoughts. How we can actually move from pain into peace.

The Lord is gentle and kind. It is as we recognise and translate His character into our traumas that we begin to be free of them. It's not easy. Life has hurt. And it has seemed to prove His lack of care. His unwillingness to intercept on your behalf. Perhaps you were abused as a child. Or witnessed the death of a parent. Perhaps you have been labelled with a mental illness. You feel that God has abandoned you. 

Depending on the level of trauma you have endured, there may be what feels to be a unbridgeable rift between your pain and the belief that God is good. That's ok. Take your time. He will be gentle. He will bear with you. He can take your anger and your doubts. And He can show you where He was while you were suffering.

God has wired us for redemption and for healing. The brain's ability to change and heal itself has been scientifically proven. 

You can be healed. Your pain can be replaced with the knowledge of the Lord's great compassion, which fails not. And as you learn to replace the painful thoughts; to turn your mind onto the mercy of God, you will experience healing and reclaim mental territory that you thought was lost.

God is good. He is for us. And His compassions never fail.

* It is here that I want to make a firm distinction between the natural (and often painful) process of working through the past vs being tormented by the continual reenactment of those painful events outside of the setting of a supportive, guided framework. Many victims of abuse have been suppressed into silence and a pivotal part of their healing is calling back the memories and speaking out. This is a necessary part of the healing process and not what I am addressing here.

What if...

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I am very good at imagining scenarios.

As a writer, my mind can rapidly create a scenario and then go on to imagine the effects and all the possible outcomes should that scenario happen (you don't have to be a writer to possess this talent...many people are brilliant at this creative, imaginative work).

In my writing, this is beneficial; my characters usually have great depth and the scenarios that I create are believable and follow a logical path.

But in my everyday life? This skill is not so great.

I am still learning how to harness my creative mind; the way that I process and make sense of my world. It seems that my real life is a lot like the worlds I build in my novels; full of infinite possibility...everything is connected and anything could happen. I take the simple, everyday happenings to a global or infinite scale...that dizzy spell is possibly a brain tumor...that tuna casserole that I made - the one that tasted a bit different than normal - will probably keep my family up all night with food poisoning. I imagine ramifications and sometimes create solutions for (or freak out about) things that have not happened. May not happen. Probably won't happen.

So, sometimes, my life feels like a really, really bad story. Full of horrible potential.

What if...

As I was sitting down with my laptop this morning, I began to brainstorm a new type of what-if list and I thought I would share it with you today.

You see, the odd thing is, in all my imaginings, with all my creativity, I very rarely imagine good scenarios. It's always the bad ones that steal my brain cells and hijack my emotions. Because of this, you will quite often find me at varying points on the spectrum of stress; anywhere from niggling worry to all out fight-or-flight body-war. The mind is a powerful thing!

As I compiled this list, amidst a morning of mundane, tiring tasks, I began to take heart. I felt life course back through me once again. Because truth brings life. You can't encounter it and not change. The following 'scenarios' find their basis in Scripture. See if you can think of verses to confirm them.

What if... everything gets better?

What if... this difficulty (whatever that is) that I am facing is making me unbreakable?

What if... I am finding myself?

What if... I am going to help others?

What if... my friends love and value me in their lives, warts and all?

What if... I can't escape the goodness of God? What if it follows me forever?

What if... He will only allow what will make me strong?

What if... I don’t have to prove myself?

What if... everything that I value in my life (my family, my friends, my gifts and passions) were all actually free gifts of God and did not come about by any great effort on my part?

What if... I'm growing stronger daily?

What if... I'm allowed to feel bad (and I don’t need to fear it), I can just lean into it and God and let Him move me through in new and creative ways?

What if...I am actually a pretty cool person and my life is going to go quite well?

What if... God is good and He loves me?


If you are a what-if kind of person, try a different approach. Give yourself freedom to explore scenarios: good ones. See if it helps!