So here I sit on my sunny verandah and it is the first of firsts. The first time I write without an audience to a little black hole in the universe. It is a diary of sorts: a record of my travels. The destination? A deeper walk with the Lord. An understanding that will slowly transform this weary, tired and confused little body into certainty, comfort and confidence in Christ.
As I write, I struggle with anxiety. It has always been there, lurking beneath the daily in various forms and strengths throughout my life. At times it is so small - my mind so certain of the truths the Lord has revealed that I feel I will never again doubt, never be swayed by fear and uncertainty. And then, life happens and I'm thrust once more into the crashing waves, disorientated and uncertain that my Stronghold is secure.
It is a strange and humble thing how permeable this little body of ours is. My heart can thump and my mind can spin, but somewhere, far within I sense a deep still. A gentle calling to a higher understanding of who my God is. Slowly, but surely, He is untangling the mess of thoughts and imaginations that cast me into fear. And what is fear, but a false reality? The misuse of our creativity to dream up a world without the safety of a Loving Father.
But that is not our destiny. It is a terror untrue. The faithfulness of God means that He cannot and will not leave His children comfortless.
'And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.'
John 14:17-18
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