The Power of the Pause

As I write, I am sitting in the café section of McDonalds, surrounded by the sounds of orders being placed and picked up, milk steaming and swirling and the low, incessant mumble of patrons conversing in booths by the back wall. Every now and then a shrill beep is emitted into the air which is already buzzing with noise…It is the alert that an order is ready. The young man behind the counter calls in a loud voice, ‘order 129…’ or ‘order 130…’ or failing that, ‘the skinny soy latte and banana bread?’

And in this low, droning environment (interspersed with moments of chaos) I have decided to write on the power of silence.

Or more specifically, the power of the pause.

So what is the difference between silence and a pause?

Silence is the lack of sound and movement. Silence is an external condition that allows us to experience inner stillness. We run to the Mountains and the rivers and pitch our tents in the back of Burke. We mothers might climb into our wardrobes or our children’s cubbies or our showers for that blissful state of silence. The problem with silence is that it is dependent on all our externals lining up and therefore it is not always attainable when we need it.

While silence helps us to cultivate inner stillness, it is not the pause.

So what then, is the pause?

The pause is the inner stillness.

The pause is where we step away from the man-made world and into what I will call the real world. The world where actual life exists and truth resides quietly, untouched by the chaos. A pause is not a mystical experience or an emotional or sentimental state of being. It is a re-connection with what we already know. Or a gentle easing into we need to know. In the pause, we touch life the way our Creator intended it and everything within us finds alignment. We can breathe and re-orientate ourselves.

The busier we are, the easier it is to lose touch with the pause and start marching to the rhythm of the man-made world, our goals and the demands of life, often without thought or organisation. We simply respond and react and as such we can find ourselves on a path we have not deliberately chosen. We become a twig in a current, thinking we have control, but in reality we are responding to the external influences and not commandeering our lives from a deep sense of still.

Because pause is an internal state, it is independent of the external state of silence. The pause can take place amidst the chaos, untouched by the externals. The pause, practiced regularly, can become a way of life. When we live out of a sense of pause, we notice the person who God might want us to smile at today. We see the couple pushing a pram under a sunny Summer sky and remember that life is changing, that our children are growing, that family is a blessing. We hear the whisper of God saying from behind, ‘go this way’ or ‘go that.’

Life become slower and more purposeful; we can accomplish what we need to do without reacting to the demands in frenetic bursts of unconstrained activity, but rather we respond to life in controlled, peaceful and deliberate movements. We live out of quiet rather than responding to noise.

Silence is wonderful but the pause is powerful. It can be taken with us. Practiced. Listened to. Even in a McDonald’s café :)

Take on the power of the pause. Practice it and cherish it. Life is found within it. 

Five Things to Do when Life Doesn't Go the Way it Should

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Sometimes life doesn't go to plan. It could be an accident, an illness, termination of employment or marriage breakup; the list goes on and on. When life doesn't do what we want it to do, it is easy to become discouraged, worried or depressed. It is easy to feel that God has overlooked us. We may have a season of uncertainty ahead as a result of the curve ball. The gap between illness and health, unemployment and employment or any other period of time where we are left 'dangling.' and it can be hard, particularly for those of us who like to have every thing planned out. Unfortunately it doesn't take long for us to realise that life does not always play to our rules.

So what do we do in these times? How do we garner peace and confidence in the face of uncertainty and unpleasant experiences?

1. Know that God is in the Circumstance

One of the difficult aspects of challenging times is the temptation to believe that God is not present. That He has turned His back in allowing this difficulty to come upon us. The reality is, that God has clearly told us in His word that He will never, ever leave us or forsake us. He has also assured us that all things, no matter how difficult or unpleasant, can work deep,positive change in us if we submit to His perspective on what has happened. One of the privileges of being a child of God is the certainty that He is present and that He extends His hand to help us out of whatever pit or trial has overtaken us.

2. Stop asking 'Why?'

This is the most natural question for us to ask when something doesn't go as planned, however, many things don't make sense in the moment. It is often not until time has passed that we can look back and see the gold that God was working in the darkness. Asking 'why?' can alienate us from the lesson of the trial. Instead of asking 'why', ask 'Lord, what are you teaching me?' I guarantee, He will answer in a most tender and encouraging and sometimes challenging way. And not only that, often as time passes and we grow from the situation, our eyes are opened and we see the why. Not always, but often.

3. Wait for Yahweh

The Bible frequently speaks of the power of waiting on God. It is the deliberate positioning of ourselves (our mental decision) to give the situation to God and to choose to believe that He is, and will continue, to work the situation for our good. This is the position of peace. It is not passive or depressive. It is not resignation in the sense that we give in and expect nothing. Rather, it is the confident and hopeful expectation that God will act on our behalf.
Psalm 27:13 and 14 tell us to wait for and have confident expectation in God.
The Names of God version of the Bible translates these verses as:

'I believe that I will see the goodness of Yahweh in this world of the living. 

Wait with hope for Yahweh. Be strong and let your heart be courageous. 

Yes, wait with hope for Yahweh.'

In this particular version I want to draw your attention to two things. Firstly, the decision we must make to believe that we will see good things once more. Some challenges seem to go on forever. Or roll one after the other. We need to remind ourselves that this too, will pass. God still has good things prepared for us. This will keep us mentally strong and spiritually secure as we wait. The second reason I have chosen this translation is because it uses the Hebrew name for God, Yahweh. This name was considered so sacred by the Israelites that they wouldn't even use it verbally. The name Yahweh embodied all the strength and power and fearfulness of the God who had done mighty things in their midst, which brings me to my next point.

4. Replace Unhealthy fear with Godly fear

Often uncertainty can be a breeding ground for fear. When we do not know what is on the horizon, our mind can fill the blanks with scary what-ifs. Godly fear is often misunderstood, and yet correct fear of the Lord is a wonderful antidote to ungodly fear. It is as we recognise the greatness of Gd, His supremacy over circumstances and diagnosis and all power, that we are filled with an awe. We recognise that nothing is too difficult for Him. that nothing can hinder his work in our lives. We lift our eyes from the circumstances to a God who stands greater, above and beyond in every way.

As Christians we have the blessing and confidence of being able to draw near to God, but we need to be aware that our familiarity with the Lord doesn't cause us to underestimate His strength. We serve the same God who rides the clouds, who sends fire and hail, whose voice splits cedars and sends the deer into labour. He is a mighty force and He has promised to act strong on our behalf. Be encouraged! The God of the universe moves for you! He will draw you up from the waters that threaten to consume you.(Psalm 18)

5. Choose Faith

At our core, we want to know everything. We want answers to all our questions and doubts. We don't want to have to wait or be in a position of uncertainty. That would allow us to bypass the discomfort of trusting. God says in His word that His children live by faith in the Living God. We don't have faith in a code of conduct or a dead text (the Bible) but a living, breathing God who sees the beginning from the end. We might be surprised by our circumstance, but He is not. He saw it coming and will work it for our good. Not only that, God communicates with and draws close to His children through the deliberate enactment of our faith. It's what we have been called to. A life of confident expectation in the goodness of God. This, the Lord rewards. This, the Lord blesses with His very Presence.

Don't despair, no matter how dark the circumstance right now. The fullness of God is available to you now. Draw close. Wait on the Lord!

God's Word to You

I write a lot on this blog about casting down thoughts 

which stand against what God tells us to be true. 

So that leaves us with the question, what is true for the children of God? 

The following are God's words, from His bible to us. 

Take them, be blessed by them, and rest confidently in them 

because they are His promises to you.

Will you trust that your name is inscribed on the palm of My hand, that I could no sooner forget you than a mother could forget the child nursing at her breast? Will you believe that your just claim has come before my ears and that because I hear you, you have what you have asked for? Will you trust that My loving kindness and tender mercies are new every morning, that they will follow you all the days of your life, in every place that your foot shall tread or your wing shall take flight, even to the furthest depths of the sea? In trouble and persecution and nakedness and strife, My love will follow you and even the darkness shall be light about you.

I will deliver you from every snare and every trouble. I will strengthen you with My strength. I will perfect you. I will restore health to you, spirit, soul and body. Will you believe that the day of the righteous - and that means you, child - shines brighter and brighter to the coming day? That you not only have a future and a hope but that My grace is sufficient for your today, for your every trouble and trial? My healing and restoration redeems your yesterday and My strength secures your tomorrow?

You were set apart from your mother's womb, called to be My child, to walk in the works that I called forth for you at the beginning of time. The risen Christ dwells in you to strengthen you and to manifest His glory in your life. You no longer have to answer to sin and fear and sickness; you have been redeemed from the curse of the Law and now answer to a new master, not a slave driver or a task master, but an Abba father, and I am touched with the feelings of your infirmities. You hear My voice because you are the sheep of My pasture and the child of My hand. I have put My spirit in your heart: the Comforter, the Healer, the Counselor who will never leave you or forsake you. He will remind you of all that Christ has done and will do for you. He will remind you that Christ in you, is the hope of glory.

Child, I am committed to your care. I will lead you gently for My yoke is easy and you will learn from My light, un-burdensome and gentle ways. I hedge you both behind and in front and I have wrapped My arms around you. You are nestled between my shoulders, gathered in my arms as a mother hen gathers her little ones. I sing over you with tender mercies and I restore you with songs of deliverance. I teach you when to rest and when to walk. I know when you are weary and I make you lie down in peace. I give you sleep. I restore and refresh your soul, anointing your head with oil and preparing a table for you in the presence of your enemies. I invite you to eat at My table both now and forever.

I have trampled the serpent and all power now belongs to Me. I am the name above every name, power, throne, kingdom, dominion, illness and diagnosis. I have given you My authority to use. I have given you My mind so that you may refute every work and lie of the enemy. No weapon formed against you will prosper, even the gates of hell cannot prevail against you for I have established you. I have set all things beneath your feet.

You are seated in the heavenlies with Christ and all that is His, I give to you. I have blessed you with every spiritual blessing. There is not a day where I will not be with you. I will provide your every need from now until the end of time. My grace is sufficient for you and My strength is perfected in your weakness. All I ask is that you believe. That you trust in me and feed on My faithfulness. I will not, will not, will not fail you. I will not, will not, will not, forsake you. Not ever. I cannot for You are mine and I ransomed My life so that you may live.

I bled for your forgiveness. I cast your sins behind you, removing them from you. As far as the east is from the west, that is how far your wrongdoings are from you. I look at you and see only Christ. You are clothed in My righteousness, clean in my sight, accepted in My family. There is nothing that you can do that will remove My love for you. I bore your sickness so that you could be healed. I became sin so that you could become righteous. I have prepared a home for you in heaven and here you will spend eternity in My presence. I will bless you. I will restore you. I will do the work.

Enter My rest, child, for it has all been done. It is finished. And nothing in heaven or earth can prevent, subdue or undo what I have done. My word cannot return to Me void. What I set to do is accomplished and complete. And I give it to you. Take it by faith, for it is yours and you are Christ's and Christ is mine.

You never need to fear again.

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Journeying with our Doubts

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For the longest time, I used to think that 'faith' was something that naive people clung to in an attempt to ignore reality. When people would tell me that they were trusting God even though they didn't have the answers, I would think, there goes another simple-minded person who is ignoring logic, rationale and progressive thought.

If something in my own life seemed to indicate that God didn't care, that He wasn't who He said He was, I would become convinced that those circumstances and the resulting line of thought had discounted the validity of God's goodness. I saw those niggles of uncertainty as signposts that I was falling for a lie: the Bible couldn't be taken literally. God was not ready to act on my behalf and He didn't really care.

In reality, those thoughts were just doubts.

I struggled with doubts about myself, about God and His word, about life and those around me. At times, I called my doubt 'critical thinking' and was certain that I had found holes in the faith and in what God had said in His word. Don't get me wrong. I was a Christian. I believed in God. I believed in the Bible. But I believed it only up until the point that I could get my head around it. Which would be fine, if I always had a clear grasp on things and was smarter than God. But, I wasn't.

I'm still not.

At first I thought I was in control. I thought that I was structuring my universe and that my critical thinking and the 'instinctive' interpretation of my circumstances would point me to truth and wholeness. Instead, I found that the more real estate I gave these interpretations, the more unsettled and confused I became. The harder it became to believe anything that God said and eventually, all I could hear was fear. I wasn't sure what I believed any more. So I ran. From church and what I had been told and from God. Thankfully, God is a chaser. But the period in my life was dramatic to say the least, a wild navigation into what I actually believed, and at that stage, it wasn't much. I knew God was real. That was a no-brainer. I sensed that He loved me (although I couldn't correlate it with the things I had experienced in my life), but I couldn't go much further than that. As I sifted through all I had been told, all I had been taught, I became an empty slate. I railed against God and I couldn't stomach anything with a remotely 'christian' message. I was up to my eyeballs in teaching and needed truth.

It was a long process. One marked with real transparency as I peeled back the layers of who I was and what I believed. In that experience, God met me and I was blown away by who He actually was, as opposed to who I had thought or been taught He was. The doubts had chewed away the crud. They chewed away some of the good stuff, too, but God restored it.

Out of that (necessary) experience, I learned a vital truth: I learned to recognise that doubts are just doubts; they are not truth. My doubts couldn't discount God's reality, no matter how elaborate, how deeply grounded or how legitimate those doubts felt to me. God either is or He isn't. And if He exists, then He is who He says He is. I can trust it.

So how do we handle our doubts? Do we stuff them all into a box and deny their existence, their legitimacy?

No. We are all on a necessary journey. A journey for truth and God will meet it. But there is an approach that we can take that is healthy and positive and one that will bring more confusion and fear.

In the book of Hosea, God lamented that the Israelites did not 'direct their deeds toward Him' (Hosea 5:4) but instead, turned from Him and looked to their idols for answers. When we see the word 'idols' in the Bible we often think of wooden totems and fail to see the relevancy to our current society, but an idol is anything that we allow to speak to us in such a way that it negates what God has said to be true, be it a painful experience, a popular opinion or intellectual thought. A person.

As I was reading this scripture, I felt the Lord saying; there is nothing wrong with having doubts. It is okay to question, to be scared or confused or angry or lost. God does not disapprove of the raw emotions of His children any more than I disapprove when my children communicate their hurts, questions or complaints about things that happen to them. God met me in my pain. The problem sets in when we use our doubts to distance ourselves from God rather than taking (or directing) them to Him. Don't get me wrong, God pursues, but we can avoid a lot of the pain by taking our issues to God, rather than running with them.

Raw emotion and doubt are part of the human condition. We can expect them, as God does. But when we give our doubts control; when we make the decision that they will be our litmus, our measure for truth, we have alienated ourselves from reality. God exists and He loves, whether we can wrap our mortal minds around it or not.

Know your teams.
Doubt isn't truth.
Doubt is just doubt.

Our Moods are Not the Litmus for Truth

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Our moods are not always accurate measures of reality. We have those days when things seem too hard. Life seems to roll over us wave after wave and its easy to feel that things will never be ok. In that moment, we can lose our hope and when we lose our hope, the day becomes that much harder.

On hard days, we might tell ourselves things like, 'things are never going to get better.' 'I won't be able to find the solution to what I'm facing.' 'I can't do this.' 'I just can't cope.' These messages, repeated over and over in our minds weaken us. We believe they are true and our emotions respond accordingly. We feel depressed. Pessimistic. Anxious. Overwhelmed. From this position, our circumstances seem even more bleak. It's an understandable cycle and an easy habit to get into. But are our emotions an accurate measure of reality? Just because I am feeling overwhelmed and out of solutions today does that mean that I really will not find a solution? That I will be perpetually stuck in the middle of the problem I am facing?

If one thing is certain in life, it is change. Nothing last forever. For God's children, we have the promise that when we cry out, God hears us and delivers us out of all our troubles. Not only that, but we have the assurance that all things are working for our good. The trials we are finding so difficult can be pillars of strength, forging faith and confidence within us as we press into God and trust Him.

And how do we do this?

We have to teach ourselves how to think. We must hold each thought up to the truth of what God says. If the thought or emotion conflicts with something that God has revealed to you, you need to reject it and replace it with His truth. This is what God talks of when He tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds. Following God's advice to reject those negative, depressing and untruthful thoughts and replacing them with His comforting, hopeful ones is the fastest way to mental health and emotional stability. His truths are a splint for your minds and your emotions. But it takes practice. What we choose to think on will feed our emotions. Choose good food.

Here are some of the promises of God that can encourage you on hard days. Use them. Choose them. Believe them. Bring to memory those times when God has come through for you. Meditate on them and let their truth uplift you. It will be life to your body and health to your bones.


- God hears you when you cry out and promises to bring you out of all your troubles (Psalm 34:17)

- Goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life (Psalm 23:6)

- God is going to work all things together for your good, even the hard things (Romans 8:28)

- God is moved with compassion by the difficulties you are facing (Psalm 112:4)

- You are growing strong by that which comes against you: growing in perseverance, character and hope (Romans 5:3,4)

- He will strengthen you as you wait on Him (Isaiah 40:31)

These encouraging truths are just scratching the tip of the iceberg of all the promises of God toward us. Try doing a keyword search in a Bible website like this one. Are you feeling hopeless? Do a search on hope and see what God has to say. Are you sick? Search for healing and see the Lord's opinion on it. Train yourselves to these truths. Be encouraged by the hope that lies in them. These are your measure of reality, not your emotions, and by them, you will grow strong, able to face the challenges that come your way.

Peace Beyond the Pain: the Brain's Ability to Heal Itself

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'My soul still remembers and sinks within me...' Lamentations 3:20 

We have a small part of our brain called the hypothalamus. This part of our brain is where all our most difficult, scarring and traumatising memories are stored and I have spoken briefly of it before. When we have been through something painful, the physical residence of this memory is the hypothalamus.

It used to be a belief that our brains were fixed. Those with mental disabilities, illnesses or those who had experienced traumas were believed to be permanently scarred, affected or doomed to the chemical changes that these events or illnesses had marked on their brains. Of course, the Bible never bought into this, but always offered hope with the instruction, 'be transformed by the renewing of your mind.'

In recent years, scientists have made groundbreaking discoveries about the plasticity of the brain. That is, the understanding that the brain is not actually fixed but is moldable, malleable and wired to return to health. There are a number of books out there outlining these encouraging scientific breakthroughs (I would recommend The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge and Switch On Your Brain by Dr Caroline Leaf). These new findings offer hope to those with troubling pasts, emotional struggles and substantiate the Bible's assurance that personal, mental transformation is well within our grasp.

Amongst this emerging research is the new understanding that memories, too, are not fixed. Rather, they are malleable and subject to reinterpretation each time they are brought back to the conscious mind. This is significant for a number of reasons.

1. It offers hope for those scarred by trauma
2. It puts control back in our hands: we don't have to live and relive those most painful events
3. It confirms God's instruction to choose our thoughts carefully: we have the power to reinforce and re-traumatise ourselves by continuing to bring the painful memories to mind, or we can learn how to re-frame those memories in light of His love and receive God's healing *

In the verse from Lamentations above, we are given a hint at how the human mind operates.

Science recognises a thought as a cognitive event. A chemical impulse that marks a physical landscape on brain matter. In effect, we are continually shaping, inventing and reinventing ourselves based on what we choose to think, believe and meditate on. For those of us who struggle with negative emotional habits and thought patterns (depression, anxiety etc) we know all too well that the brain can reach a state of near perpetual negativity; a bias whereby we distort incoming data based on our pre-existing fears and disillusionment. Rather than seeing life for what it truly is, we distort it according to our fear, traumatic memories and subsequent pessimism. It can be a nasty habit and one that snowballs until our default setting seems to be misery.

Our Lamenting prophet demonstrates the pain that results from bringing back to mind those scarring events: as he recalls the pain of the past, his soul sinks within him. The more we bring to mind the negative events of our past; our perceived failings, our disillusionment, the darker and more depressed we will become.

But there is hope.

Neuroplasticity is God's proof that the redemption of the mind is scientific, tangible and attainable.
We can train ourselves back to peace.

The passage goes on to say:

'This I recall to mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord's mercies we are not consumed. Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning.' vs. 21-23a

I want you to look closely at the sequence of mental events that take place in this passage. Following the recollection of the traumatic, afflicted memory, the writer's soul 'sinks within him.' As he moves to a new mental state, we witness the following:

1. Another recollection is brought to mind: the Lord's faithfulness

2. By switching his mind to the Lord and not the event, the prophet's soul goes from sinking to hopeful 

3. Although the writer has experienced something very painful and real, there is the promise of something new. Something steady, available every morning: the Lord's compassions.

In these verses we are given a snapshot of how we can go about dealing with our own painful thoughts. How we can actually move from pain into peace.

The Lord is gentle and kind. It is as we recognise and translate His character into our traumas that we begin to be free of them. It's not easy. Life has hurt. And it has seemed to prove His lack of care. His unwillingness to intercept on your behalf. Perhaps you were abused as a child. Or witnessed the death of a parent. Perhaps you have been labelled with a mental illness. You feel that God has abandoned you. 

Depending on the level of trauma you have endured, there may be what feels to be a unbridgeable rift between your pain and the belief that God is good. That's ok. Take your time. He will be gentle. He will bear with you. He can take your anger and your doubts. And He can show you where He was while you were suffering.

God has wired us for redemption and for healing. The brain's ability to change and heal itself has been scientifically proven. 

You can be healed. Your pain can be replaced with the knowledge of the Lord's great compassion, which fails not. And as you learn to replace the painful thoughts; to turn your mind onto the mercy of God, you will experience healing and reclaim mental territory that you thought was lost.

God is good. He is for us. And His compassions never fail.

* It is here that I want to make a firm distinction between the natural (and often painful) process of working through the past vs being tormented by the continual reenactment of those painful events outside of the setting of a supportive, guided framework. Many victims of abuse have been suppressed into silence and a pivotal part of their healing is calling back the memories and speaking out. This is a necessary part of the healing process and not what I am addressing here.

What if...

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I am very good at imagining scenarios.

As a writer, my mind can rapidly create a scenario and then go on to imagine the effects and all the possible outcomes should that scenario happen (you don't have to be a writer to possess this talent...many people are brilliant at this creative, imaginative work).

In my writing, this is beneficial; my characters usually have great depth and the scenarios that I create are believable and follow a logical path.

But in my everyday life? This skill is not so great.

I am still learning how to harness my creative mind; the way that I process and make sense of my world. It seems that my real life is a lot like the worlds I build in my novels; full of infinite possibility...everything is connected and anything could happen. I take the simple, everyday happenings to a global or infinite scale...that dizzy spell is possibly a brain tumor...that tuna casserole that I made - the one that tasted a bit different than normal - will probably keep my family up all night with food poisoning. I imagine ramifications and sometimes create solutions for (or freak out about) things that have not happened. May not happen. Probably won't happen.

So, sometimes, my life feels like a really, really bad story. Full of horrible potential.

What if...

As I was sitting down with my laptop this morning, I began to brainstorm a new type of what-if list and I thought I would share it with you today.

You see, the odd thing is, in all my imaginings, with all my creativity, I very rarely imagine good scenarios. It's always the bad ones that steal my brain cells and hijack my emotions. Because of this, you will quite often find me at varying points on the spectrum of stress; anywhere from niggling worry to all out fight-or-flight body-war. The mind is a powerful thing!

As I compiled this list, amidst a morning of mundane, tiring tasks, I began to take heart. I felt life course back through me once again. Because truth brings life. You can't encounter it and not change. The following 'scenarios' find their basis in Scripture. See if you can think of verses to confirm them.

What if... everything gets better?

What if... this difficulty (whatever that is) that I am facing is making me unbreakable?

What if... I am finding myself?

What if... I am going to help others?

What if... my friends love and value me in their lives, warts and all?

What if... I can't escape the goodness of God? What if it follows me forever?

What if... He will only allow what will make me strong?

What if... I don’t have to prove myself?

What if... everything that I value in my life (my family, my friends, my gifts and passions) were all actually free gifts of God and did not come about by any great effort on my part?

What if... I'm growing stronger daily?

What if... I'm allowed to feel bad (and I don’t need to fear it), I can just lean into it and God and let Him move me through in new and creative ways?

What if...I am actually a pretty cool person and my life is going to go quite well?

What if... God is good and He loves me?


If you are a what-if kind of person, try a different approach. Give yourself freedom to explore scenarios: good ones. See if it helps!

The Counter-Cultural Nature of Trust

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For a long time, I have been aware of my biggest battle in my Christian walk. Maybe it's something something you can relate to.
Trust.
The foundation of the faith.
We are supposed to take God for His word. To lean hard into it, in the face of adversity. In seeming contradiction. And yet, unfortunately, most times, when the going gets tough, I split.
I've been doing it ever since I was a little girl, when I thought I found my first flaw in the Bible. You see, I've always been an analyser, a thinker. Kinda smart. But not so smart that I know to trust God, period. Just smart enough to go, 'Ahah! God, I've found a loophole and I just can't get past it!'
(Not so smart at all, actually)

It's no wonder, given this attitude of mine, that I have struggled with anxiety.When you think that you can outsmart God, or that you have somehow out-thought Him, the result is pretty much guaranteed. You're gonna feel anxious. Maybe not immediately, but eventually. It's a pretty big call to think you've found error in the Creator of the Universe.

I'm thirty four years old and I am just beginning to grab with determination God's instruction to trust in Him with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding. It would have made my life a whole lot easier had I grabbed it by the horns twenty years ago. But I had my own journey to take.

Leaning not on our own understanding...
This instruction pretty much flies in the face of a progressive, post modern world.
Christians look pretty ignorant these days, by education standards. Casting our doubts into the hands of God can get us the label of 'ignorant', 'blind' or 'naive'.
Modern culture encourages us not to be wary of our understanding, but to use it as a navigational tool for truth.

How well is that working, do you think?
Six billion people each using their own understanding to navigate and interpret the complex, multi-faceted world of ethics, morality, and truth.

I've touched on post-modernism before and while I definitely engage with some of the issues the movement raises -- and consider myself an advocate for critical thinking -- there are times when we need to put our thinking on the altar. God offers a unique way to find truth, one that bypasses the mind and goes straight to the spirit.
Faith.

After all these years running in the circles of 'intelligent thinking' I have come back to my pretty simple, base foundation, which is:

God is good and I can trust Him.

It's blind trust.
It's basically stupidity.
And deliciously, ironically and counter-culturally it's the starting point for knowledge.

'...The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.'

Psalm 19:7b

Gandalf, Build-Your-Own-God and the Great I AM

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There are a lot of stances on God out there. Who He is (or isn't), whether He exists or is a figment of the imaginations of weak-minded people, of touch-feely people, of intellectually-outdated people.

Some of the more popular thoughts on God include: (listed in order of likeability...well actually number 2 blows, but I figured we ought to start with no-god)

1. God doesn't exist
Never has, never did. There is no higher power and the life we live here is all we have and all we can hope for. Whether this belief is scientifically based, comes from suffering or is simply a license to live without limits, it essentially says, there is no God. And that's fine, we are entitled to this stance.

2. God as an excuse for bigotry, evil, pride and hate
Don't have much to say about this god. Unfortunately, he exists.

3. The Deist Theory
There is a being; and he dwells high in the clouds. He made the world and watches with a kind of detached dismay at His creation gone crazy. He sees suffering and tuts over it, but doesn't act. He is detached, emotionally disconnected, and doesn't meddle in the affairs of his created beings. He's kinda like the father who is always at the office or the pub; the one whose kids grow up with a faint awareness of a tall guy who pops up at dinner time and appears occasionally in photos, like a smudge in the corner.

4. Gandalf God
He's like Yoder and Mr Miyagi in one white-bearded Deity. He is all that is wise and sage and stands in the sidelines drawing out the best in us. He is great, don't get me wrong, but there's something a little cheesy about a being who talks in cliches and looks like he could use a good dose of Metamucil.

5. Build-Your-Own-Deity
There is a god but he/she/it is a kind of vague god, Customised to our beliefs, much like one of those build-it-yourself burgers at McDonalds. This god is all that is good in the world, pops up in all belief systems (it is the same Being after all) and is basically whoever you want him to be. This kind of being doesn't really evoke much confidence; a god who can be shaped by my thoughts and beliefs is not a tangible, distinct and separate being, but a figment of thought; an idea, and as noble, moral, spiritual or lovely as that is, that is not the kind of god I need.

Thankfully, these gods are not the God of the Bible:

6. The Great I AM
He is distinct and contained; an entire being not dependent on me or defined by my thought. He has clear parameters around His being; what He stands for, who He is, what He permits, what He won't tolerate. He is not a Dictator, but a Distinct Being with strong, well defined edges, driven by love and bursting with surprising grace.

He is the Father we wish we had had growing up; the one who tells us we are a Princess or throws the footy around with us. The one who makes us eat our vegetables but can tickle us until we wet ourselves. The one who says no, we can't have a tattoo for our twelfth birthday because He knows what is good for us.

This God will always turn around with a warm hug and a listening ear, no matter what we have done, who we think we are. This God dines with sex workers and extortionists and yet has a pretty strong stance on sin (In fact, He literally cannot tolerate it) and pretty high requirements. He doesn't want your best efforts. He wants YOU. All of you, good and bad.

Of course, this is part of the wonderful mystery of I AM.

He came up with a brilliant plan so that sin wouldn't stand between Him and His creation. It has nothing to do with goodness, effort or general saintliness and everything to do with persistent, fatherly love and the enabling power of an abiding Presence.

This, people, IS God. We have been sold a lie.

God is not dead and He is not defined by my thought. He is separate from it and we are given the opportunity to shape our beliefs to His reality.

Which stance are you?

5 Hot Tips I've been Given in Church

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1. You’re noticing the problem because you are part of the solution

It’s easy to become dejected, discouraged or critical when we see problems in our church, our workplace or our social environment. Bitterness and complaining can set in quickly, as too, can apathy. It is far too easy to walk into a room, take its pulse and say, ‘I’m outta here.’ But, perhaps you’re noticing the problem because you are part of the solution. We have each been given unique gifts, talents and insights to bless those around us. Rather than feel discouraged when you notice a missing ‘piece’ in the puzzle, pray, ‘God, use me to fill that gap.’

2. No rear-view Christianity

The enemy loves to use past failures to keep us from moving forward. It is one of the favourite tools in his arsenal. He will remind you of the mistakes you made yesterday, last year, last decade. He may even point out the mistakes of your nearest and dearest to remind you, ‘Hey, if they couldn’t do it, what makes you think you can?’ We are always in motion; we decide which way we will point our noses. If our gaze is on the past and it’s mistakes, chances are we will repeat them. While there is a time and a place to prayerfully deal with the past, ruminating on our failures will only hold us back. 

3. Quit asking why it didn’t work for someone else

Jesus established an important principle when he told Peter not to look at his friend, John, but to follow Him instead. Using each other as a plumb line never works. Why? Because we are human. We have our moments of brilliance and our moments of not-so brilliance. Times when we are living in obedience to truth and times when we are slip-sliding around in the flesh. Looking at each other and worse still, using each other’s experience as a litmus for God’s truth is a fast track to doubt and discouragement. Why did that person die of cancer and that other one was healed? Well, I don’t know and no matter how much time you spend wondering on it, neither will you. What I do know is what God tells me in His Word. That is the plumb line.

4. Things will never be the same again

While many of us do not like change, knowing that things will never be the same again can be one of the most liberating aspects of the Christian life. God tells us that He is working in us and that we are going from strength to strength and glory to glory. This means that we are always forging new territory and gaining new victory. We might take our time to learn the lessons God would have us learn, but praise God, our future looks different to our past.

5. Stop trying to be what you already are

Many Christians live in perpetual cycles of sin, guilt, confession, sin guilt confession. We have been told that our sin separates us from God. Guess what? They got it wrong. Once we accepted Christ, we were immediately, irrevocably and legally cleared of all debts against us; past, present and future. Sin ceased to be the problem between us and God. What that means is that we can step off the silly cycle. We can wholeheartedly take for granted the fact that when God looks at us, He sees only the work of Christ. Does that mean He is happy when we sin? No. God is continually working in His children to will and to do His will. However, sin no longer separates us from His presence. How could it? We need His presence to help us when we are at our messiest. We don't need to try to please the God who looks at us and says, ‘I see no stain upon you.’

Your Timeline in God

You are plonk bang in the middle of God's timeline.
It's easy to feel stuck in our life, between the failures of yesterday and the fears for tomorrow. We can lose our present to worry and fear. And yet, we are living in God's time.

• Before the worlds were formed, He knew you. Your days were planned before you had them. (Ephesians 2:10, Psalm 139:16)

• Two thousand years ago, He tucked you firmly into the work of Christ. You were buried and resurrected with Him and given newness of life before you even took your first breath. (Romans 6:3-5)

• Decades ago, it was Him who formed you in the matrix of your mother's womb. He set his seal on you and said, 'Child, you are mine.' (Psalm 139:15, Isaiah 43:1)

• When you took Christ into your heart, He filled you with his Spirit and adopted you into His family. You belong to Him, whether you feel it or not. Filled with Him and bestowed with all the privileges of the children of a God. (Ephesians 1:5, Romans 8:15, Galatians 4:6)

• Today, He is your I Am. Sufficient for the worries of this moment. A present help in trouble. Outside of time and always accessible; He is your now. (2 Corinthians 9:8, 2 Corinthians 12:9, Psalms 46:1)

• Tomorrow, He goes before you. And for every tomorrow after that. His strength will be there until your last breath. (Deuteronomy 31:8, Deuteronomy 31:6, Isaiah 41:10)

God has sealed you behind and in front, your timeline is held securely in His hands, in His will. There is not a day where you will be without Him. Not a breath even. There is not a place where you can flee from His presence, from His plan for your life.

Read Psalm 139 to understand exactly how precious you are to God, how intimately He knows you and how thoroughly He holds you.

You, my dear, are unequivocally and completely safe, nestled in the timeline of God.

'But I trusted in, relied on, and was confident in You, O Lord; I said, You are my God. My times are in Your hands.'

Psalm 31:14,15a

The Invisible Work of Mothering

'Lord, this is the hardest season of my life.'

These are the words uttered in earnest as I sit on the edge of my freshly made bed, sipping lukewarm coffee. The faint sound of worship music floats in from the lounge room, punctuated by the electronic quack of a game my son is playing on the iPad.
It is quiet time.
That blessed hour of the day where children are encouraged to play quiet activities and mum pretty much breaks her neck getting to the refuge of her bedroom for a few sweet moments of solitude.

I am reminded of the story of Susannah Wesley, mother of Jonathan and Charles Wesley, who, as the mother of nineteen children at the turn of the century, would seek solace under her apron! She would pull the fabric over her head at various points during the day. This was her prayer time. Her rest and refill time and the children knew not to interrupt her during these moments! No doubt, it was these times of refreshment that got her through the day.

In Matthew 11:28, 29 Jesus offers this invitation to those who feel hard pressed.
'Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]
Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest, relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls.' (Amplified version)

Look at these blissful words for one moment, would you?
Rest
Relief
Refreshment
Ease
Recreation
Blessed quiet

I can think of few other candidates in desperate need of this kind of rest as mothers! Whether you are single or married, raising one or nineteen, mothering is a hard task! It requires superhuman energy, saintly patience and creativity to boot. Some days it feels like you're not even going to make it through to bedtime.

Jesus' offer of ease, relief and refreshment stands like an oasis in a desert.
Lately, I am learning just how much I need to rely on Him for the strength I need to get through the day. I am also becoming increasingly aware of the fact that we are made to thrive, not just survive.

My children are not babies any more.
They are growing more independent. Still, I am in a rough season. Moving away from excessive worry and reasoning into the peace of trust. Jesus words are just the relief I crave. It requires work on my part.
I need to go to Him.
Regularly.
Like Susannah with her apron over her head, I find it necessary to take regular, five minute breaks to readjust my perspective, to wait on God for the strength I need for the next task.
I pray, 'Father, let me see my children as you see them. Let me love them as you love them.'
I ask for strength and I submit myself to Him. And you know what happens?
I find His creativity and His strength infuses me.
He shows me new way through and over obstacles. He recharges my batteries and fills my heart with new love and mercy toward my kids.

Without regular provision from God, these difficult seasons become mountainous.
With His help, we find that we develop the muscles we need to navigate the terrain.

As I confided in God today, 'Father, this is my hardest season.' An answer came back to me.
I realised that this is my hardest season because I am sowing a precious crop. There is a time coming when the harvest will spread far and wide. Now, it is a season of toil. Digging up the dirt, plucking out the weeds, pressing the seeds deep and low in the bowels of the earth.

So much of mothering is invisible work. Behind closed doors and late nights. We aren't even sure we are sowing into our kids life. Are we doing it right? Will they turn out ok?
Father God encourages us as only He can.

Keep sowing. Keep working. Keep trusting in His process. As we commit our lives and children to Him, He does that magic, underground work. The seeds crack open and the delicate tendrils of new life push their way to the surface of the earth. He brings the sun, the rain and strengthens the life. He will bring a plentiful harvest.

Be encouraged, tired mums. Sow and rest. Hope and wait. Times of great blessing are ahead.

'And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.' Galatians 6:9

Good Pain

When I was pregnant with my babies, the midwives tried to prepare me for the labour. In prenatal class, they told us fledgling, soon-to-be mums that there was such a thing as good pain. Pain that was healthy and meaningful. Pain that produced results: the whole body working together to bring your child from your womb and into your arms. My twenty-something year old brain rejected the concept. Good pain? I thought incredulously. Who are you kidding? Pain is pain and I don't want a bar of it.

I epi-duraled my way through two labours. Ah, the bliss of liquid numbness, seeping through my spine and filling my body with blessed relief from contractions that rolled like merciless waves over my tired body. Why would anyone do it any other way? I thought.

Fast forward a few years.
I have come to realise exactly what the midwives were talking about.
We might be able to skip the pain of labour, thanks to some pretty magical medications, but sooner or later, life is going to present us with a situation that there is no easy way out of.
While my epidural took away my labour pain, I did miss an opportunity to develop confidence in my own endurance. Now, that being said, there is absolutely no shame in choosing medication for labour and I do not take any moral stance against it. What I am saying, is that for me, the choice echoed similar choices I had made over the years; which was, when things got hard, I lost my nerve. I simply believed I could not do anything that hurt or challenged me.

A lifetime of avoiding scary things, difficult things, painful things, resulted in me struggling in my confidence as an adult and feeling powerless in my world.

A few years ago, I was about twenty kilos overweight. I lamented my pre-motherhood figure. I envied mothers who 'bounced right back' after labour, squeezing into their tiny jeans with their flat tummies. Finally, after five years, I realised, I wasn't going to get my figure back by complaining about it. I was gonna have to work for it.

Enter the concept of good pain, once more.
Ah, the good pain of a tummy that craved chocolate and fast food. The soreness of muscles that were learning to jog. The feeling of frustration when the weight didn't peel off. Was all this effort actually achieving something?
My give-up nature poked and cajoled me at every turn.

There is a point in our challenge where our work does not seem to be accomplishing anything. In weight loss, it is the point where you are exercising and moderating your food choices but you're still in the same dress size. In labour, it is the point where you've been huffing and puffing through contractions only to be told that you are barely dilated.

This is the painful ground; the point where hard work and it's sweet rewards have not yet married, and Lord, it's tempting to give up. But you mustn't! You must tenaciously engage your will, knowing that what you are doing will bring a harvest. The midwives had it right. Not all pain is bad. Some pain is proof of your effort, proof of your accomplishment. As in weight training, where the muscles are literally torn and healed to bring strength, so in life, we must experience a little discomfort to bring about great strength and endurance. You can do it, you are doing it, and you will reap a reward.

'And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint.'
Galatians 6:9. (Amplified Bible)

Bad days

They happen to everyone.
Most people shake them off.
For us perfectionistic, analytical types they can become proof of our worst fears about ourselves. They become evidence of our failure, our inability to rise above the circumstances. We can get into a loop of backward thinking. We think that these lapses are actually the accurate measure of our life. We might say things like, 'I always cave under pressure' or 'I can never get my act together when such-and-such happens.' When in reality, that may not be true at all. We simply may not be counting the days we succeed.

You see we each have what Psychologists call a negativity-bias. What this means is that we tend to attribute more weight or value to those negative events/words/thoughts than the positive ones. It's understandable. They hurt. There is a designated part of our brain that diligently records these painful experiences, burning them into our brain matter. Its called our hypothalamus. When things go wrong we have a store of 'evidence' to back up the fact that we are always failing/disappointing others/getting hurt/making mistakes. In reality, it is just our trusty hypothalamus drawing links and presenting its supporting evidence.

From a statistical viewpoint, this 'evidence' is actually not so trustworthy at all. It is drawn from all the most negative experiences in our lives. That means that half (or more) of the information is missing! Would you trust any election if only the negative votes were counted? And yet often this is what we do to ourselves! We only count the evidence of our failure, our hurt, or bad experiences.

This is why God repetitively tells us in His word to meditate on the good. To cast down thoughts that rise against what we know to be true. Note the word 'know' not 'feel' Sometimes things simply do not feel true. To say 'I am more than a conqueror in Christ' does not feel true when I've spent the day yelling at the kids, battling a panic attack or failing to get on top of my to do list. But guess what? It is no less true than on that day when I was mum of the year, snapped my anxiety and did my errands before morning break! The great thing about God's word is that it does not change according to our circumstances or our feelings or our successes or our failures. It stands apart and separate from us and is the definitive measure of truth; the plumb line by which we can measure our worth and all of our happenings.

The hypothalamus has its place. It is protective by nature, serving as a warning to avoid certain situations/people/cycles. Out of place, it can distort our perspective and present faulty evidence that feels truer than the breath within us.

Good thing we have the unwavering measure of who we are, recorded on the pages of our Bibles and whispered into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

Bad days are not proof of our failure or evidence that we will never get on top.
Bad days are simply those days when we have to fight harder to believe the truth.

The Holiest Ground

I am standing in my dining room. Around me are the signs and struggles of typical family life: toys and art supplies strewn around (where they should not be) a rug that needs vacuuming, half- folded washing in piles on my kitchen table....
It is a silent house.
My husband is on an errand and has taken my two little ones, lending me an opportunity I don't often have (as mothers will exquisitely understand!)
I am alone.

Just before leaving, my eight year old daughter addressed me with an urgent plea... 'Mum! don't forget the colouring competition!'
Her creativity has spilled over into a project that has filled her with excitement and a sense of urgency: she had created four identical images of bunnies collecting eggs. One for her brother, one for me and her dad and one for grandma.
On Friday she put forward her petition: 'Can you and dad please colour in the pictures before we go away on Monday?' (They are staying overnight with Grandma as it is school holidays and I have a full day at University and my husband is away on business)
She wants the competition ready for her to judge on Monday night.
My husband and I promised we would get around to it, but alas, it is Sunday evening and plans for the week ahead crush in urgently on us, cramming themselves uncomfortably into the final rays of daylight. Neither my husband or I have gotten around to the task so precious to her.

Her parting plea, instead of compelling me to action, drives me to anger.
'Don't you realise how busy mummy is? I have study and housework and I have to pack you and your brother's bags before uni tomorrow!' I send her away and I'm feeling exasperated and pressed. The disappointment in her face is the last thing I see as she leaves.

I have two hours in this silent house before they will be back.
Two hours in which I could try and do the three hours of reading required for class tomorrow.
I could begin to prepare dinner.
Hang and fold the mountain of washing.
Enjoy an indulgent and much wanted rest....

I begin my uni readings. It's sensible. It's urgent.
But.
I feel the familiar tug.
God.
He's drawing me away.
Frustrated, I retreat to my bedroom where a hasty, panicked prayer is offered up. 'But God, I have so much to do!'
And then He leads me, as He does lately, one step at a time. One foot in front of the other because it's all my hurried, jumbled brain can handle these days.

'Put your headphones on, go in the sun and colour.'

Frustrated and edgy, I gather the supplies and do as He has said.
I sit for half an hour listening to worship music as I use my son's waxy, richly hued pencils to colour in the picture my beautiful daughter has drawn.
I colour with abandon and I feel tension dissolve on the page as I stroke wild lashes of viridian green grass and ring the sun with cadmium yellow.
This simple, tactile art brings me back to a simpler time and drops an even simpler, pure message into my spirit.
This is what it's all about.
How often I forget.
How often He reminds me.

I suddenly can't wait for my daughter to arrive home.
What else can I do to make this the pleasurable experience she so desperately wants it to be?
I raid the Easter egg collection I have accumulated for next week. I choose a large bunny and tie a string around it's neck. To the string, I attach a label that says, 'The prize.'
Now the competition is really worth striving for :)
I know she will be thrilled.

I leave my entry, along with her brother's and the two blank ones, waiting to be coloured on her little table. (I will whisper in her father's ear tonight).
The prize bunny is there.
So are the crumbs from breakfast.

My perspective has returned.

God tells me quietly, 'This is the Holiest Ground.'

Where self and surrender intercept.
I take my shoes off.
The floorboards are slightly tacky beneath my feet.
My toenail polish is half worn off.
I am Moses.
This is my house, my battle ground.

And slowly, I am learning.

The Consolation of God

'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.' Jesus, The Bible.

There is a special place in the will and heart of God for those who have suffered.
In a world that is full of injustice and atrocities of the worst imaginable kind, it is easy to doubt in the goodness of a God who claims to be all powerful, all loving and completely just. Sometimes we just can't get past the Why question and it has been responsible for a huge number of people rejecting the God of the Bible. And it is completely warranted.

Why has God chosen not to interfere on a grand scale with the happenings of a world that are unjust at best, sadistic and brutal at worst? Why the holocaust, the starving children, the abused and the molested? Where is God when the world most needs Him? Like a veil or a curtain, He seems to have pulled the clouds over Himself and taken into hiding in the heavens above and beyond the accusations of His confused, hurting and angry creation.

Or has He?

Many wise and brilliant men, intellectuals and theologians alike have posed answers to The Big Question of Suffering and I am not seeking to add any great insight that they have not already revealed at a higher, more eloquent and thoroughly researched level than I am capable. I do however have my own thoughts on the issue. Thoughts birthed out of my own experiences of injustice and suffering. And this is what I have found: Nothing that I have turned over to Him has ever come back to me empty.While He didn't stop certain pains and injustices in my own life, He has removed the sting of many traumatic experiences by offering one of the things that our God seems to do best:
Consolation.

There is a strange thing that takes place when we use the pain to turn to God rather than from Him. We find a bittersweet place of abiding in the comfort of God amidst the hurt of the circumstance, the event or the memory. I thoroughly believe that this is why Jesus actually went as far as to say 'blessed' are those who mourn. Not just 'ok' or 'comforted' are those who mourn, but blessed. Those who have drunk deeply of the tender consolation of God can only agree. There is a battle in this life, but I am beginning to believe that is not about justice versus injustice but is a war for the mind. A fight to trust in a God whose ways, at times, confuse us. As autonomous humans, we tend to say to God, 'show me your proof and then I will trust you.' Both wise and frustrating is Father God's response; 'trust me and then I will show you.'

What to Do with Haters

'I gave My back to those who struck Me,
And My cheeks to those who plucked out the beard; I did not hide My face from shame and spitting.'
Isaiah 50:6

When we think of success, what do we think of? When we think of living out of our calling, what images come to mind? In an increasingly perfectionist and analytical society, success and power are often dependant on the ability to create and maintain a slick reputation. There are companies whose sole job is to create and recreate the persona and public perspective of high power individuals: politicians, actors and businessmen. Attempting to control the thoughts of the masses is high on the priority list if you seek to be a public figure in a modern age. It takes a lot of work to structure your words and actions to avoid alienating yourself in any way from those around you. In fact, it could easily become a full time job: part performance and part damage control. And it's not just the high powered who embrace this tenuous work. We can all feel pressured to shape the opinions of those around us in our favour, whether it is through careful social media pruning or in the way we conduct ourselves verbally to those around us. It is very much a twentieth century, first world problem, but it is understandable. People are watching. And they are making judgement.

I know some people who are boldly themselves. They let the disapproval of others slide from them like water off a duck's back. They know who they are and they are comfortable in their own skin. For the rest of us, we can become so concerned with what other people think that it begins to break into who we are. Before long we find that we have sliced pieces of ourselves off to suit the expectations of others. Or added behaviours that we think those around us want us to have. All this cutting and modelling can leave us feeling pretty inauthentic, resentful and stressed out. Pretty soon we can even forget for ourselves who we actually are.

The reason I have chosen this unusual Bible verse to focus on today is because I feel there are some vital principles relating to personal calling. This passage is a Messianic, prophetic portion of Scripture. It was written from the perspective of the coming Christ, revealing something of His work, His calling and His attitude to a world who would ultimately reject Him. See, despite the fact that He would be crucified, ridiculed and rejected in the most barbaric ways, Christ was not daunted by his haters. He had a job to do. One commissioned by the Father and He set His face like flint to do so. If we start looking around at all those people who seek to pull us down, we will fast lose sight of what it is that we are called us to do. I believe there is a concept that can be gleaned from this verse. Christ gave His back to His persecutors and this is a very interesting stance to take. He did not fight His enemies. He simply shifted His position so that they were not in His line of sight anymore. We can spend our whole life trying to fight our opponents. Trying to reason and convince them that they are wrong, that they are misunderstanding us. Jesus knew this was a fast track to falling away from His calling and we need to understand this, too. There will always be a critic. Engaging with them will keep us from the work we are meant to be doing.

Constructive criticism from those who know us and are wise, trustworthy friends is a valuable tool. But some people just want to look for the negative or fill in the blanks of what they don't understand with their own opinions. While the people themselves are not necessarily our enemies, their attitudes are toxic and can become obstacles to us, if we are not bedded deeply and confidently in who we are in Christ. The answer is simple. Know who you are and get comfortable in your calling. God has put you in your skin for a reason. He has given you gifts and talents to bless those around you. Like Christ, refuse to hide. The truth is, you will face opposition. You will face conflict. It is not your job to try to prevent that. Nor is it your job to squeeze and shape yourself to popular opinion. Your job is simple. Be you. Bravely and boldly. The people who you are meant to influence, will be influenced. As for the rest? They are God's job.

Uncertainty: the Birthplace of Trust

I often forget that while I am stuck in the middle of my own story, there is someone who stands above it, knowing beginning from end and everything in between. I wonder if we could really grasp this, how different our lives could be. The concept brings to mind a quote by author Margaret Attwood:

She states:
“When you are in the middle of a story it isn't a story at all, but only a confusion; a dark roaring, a blindness, a wreckage of shattered glass and splintered wood; like a house in a whirlwind, or else a boat crushed by the icebergs or swept over the rapids, and all aboard powerless to stop it. It's only afterwards that it becomes anything like a story at all. When you are telling it, to yourself or to someone else.”

I can so relate to the concept of wild, blind confusion where all the bits of life are swirling around with no apparent rhyme or reason. When things are not going to plan, it is easy to feel that our life is in chaos, that there is no rhythm or purpose or stability. It is easy, when uncertainty looms overhead, to think that these feelings are true. That we actually are lost and restless, tossing on a sea of random events. But is it true?

God tells us in His Word that He works all things together for good. He works His will in us and His purpose is revealed in all His dealings with His children. While we may feel as though things are out of control, they never actually are. We can relieve some of the discomfort of uncertainty by recognising that no matter how senseless the events seem right now, there is a time coming when we will look back and say, 'yes, I see the hand of God in that.' Life is hard. Sometimes we have to cling to that truth like a splintered board on a storm tossed sea. But this, I believe, is where we can learn to walk in the perfect peace of Christ. The peace that passes all understanding.

Uncertainty is the birthplace of trust in God, and as uncomfortable as it is (and as often as I keep saying it) it is an opportunity to deepen our intimacy with God and grow our endurance. A condition of want creates a space for God to fill. And He will. Chances are, that's exactly what He's trying to teach you.
Lean in. Hope. Someone is standing above it all.

If You've Got it, Sow it.

There is something really appealing about a person living fully alive. When individuals tap into that creative well within and begin to step forward in confidence into their gifts and calling, it is like a divine breath of life. It doesn't matter whether your calling is writing books, saving lives or making coffee. The art of living out of your sweet spot is dynamic, life giving and inspiring.
It is also...Scary.

Discovering what stirs you is one thing: having the courage to run with it, is another thing altogether. What if it's weird? What if it doesn't fit the mould? Maybe there's no job role for what it is that floats your boat. The diversity between us never ceases to amaze me. But what are we supposed to do with that unusual combination of gifts, insights and failings that make us who we are?

Run with them.
Eek. I can hear you screaming. That is all very well, you might say, but what if it doesn't work? Well, I have a simple answer.
It will work.

See there's a principle at motion when it comes to those stirrings inside us. God is a good God and he has placed a little spark within each of us. They are divine seeds and they require one thing: to be planted. Those seeds will toss around inside you like Mexican jumping beans until you get 'em out and press them into the earth. It is called sowing, and in God's economy, the return is something you can take for granted. What? You say. Does this mean that everything I do will bring a glorious harvest? What it means is this: you can't NOT do it. It is all part of moving forward into the will and plan of God for your life. Even if the harvest is not mind blowing, it is still accomplishing an important work: shaping you, making you a little older and wiser. God's blessing will be on anything you give Him, even if the outcome is different to what you anticipated.

It is a Divine principle promised to His children. He works all things together for good. Contrary to some popular belief, He actually wants us to flourish. For too long we have been tempted to think He is standing there with his pruning shears waiting to snip off any shoot of industry that should emerge in our lives. When did we forget that we are His children?

Our job is simple: If you've got, sow it. Trust him with the outcome. He will bring the sun and the rain. He will do the pruning and the staking. The life of a gardener is a life of faith: one that takes for granted the principle of life. Sometimes the seed may perish into the ground, sometimes the pests may come, but it is all working toward tomorrow's harvest. The real tragedy is to quit sowing.

Believe it or Not, the Gospel is Actually Good News

Why is it that so many of us God-loving sons and daughters have become convinced that who we are is not okay?
For too long I have struggled with a sense that I am not good enough for the God life, and I have a sneaking suspicion from conversations with others that I am not the only one.
Frequently I see people I know and love running from God because of the belief that somehow He won't be pleased with them. Somehow we have out-sinned his grace. Or we simply feel so overwhelmed at how far short we fall that we avoid Him altogether.

Where has this God-pleasing attitude come from? Because when I look at the Gospel, people ran TO Jesus not from Him. The ones who did run, were those who were full of religious pride and self righteous, judging attitudes. Jesus' simple, gracious gospel was not a good fit. It scraped away all those parts of themselves that they were counting on. Their works. Their intellect. Their position in the religious system. These were the things that filled them with pride and self satisfaction. The concept of a God who couldn't give two hoots about their accomplishments was not a good fit at all.

On the other hand, the messy, the sinful, the awkward and the outcasts were among those who sat at His table and thirstily drank up His words. They found Him to be a good fit. Full of comfort and making up abundantly for those parts of themselves that they found were lacking.

You see, in its time, the Gospel was actually considered to be a GOOD thing.
It was the mighty leveller and its emphasis shifted according to who Christ was speaking to. He warned the proud that they would be brought low. He told those who were counting on their own merits for salvation that their works were as filthy rags.
To those who were humble, honest about their failings, He gave a message of hope. They would be lifted and raised up. His grace would cover their sins and a robe of righteousness would shroud their failures.

We get it fundamentally wrong when we switch this principle. Berating ourselves for our sin, our weakness is not Godly, it's not healthy and it is NOT the Gospel of Christ. Our requirement is not sinlessness. Our requirement is simple.
Come.
Come often.
Come honestly.
Come expecting.

Father God is not freaking out over your failures. He knows them well. This Christian gig is not about getting it right. It's about adoption and the beauty of this is that the Parent is the one who assumes the responsibility for working His will in His kids.
He will guide us.
He will shape us.
He will do the work.
Don't get tricked into running, thinking you are unacceptable to God. It's one of the enemy's biggest weapons to keep you locked into guilt and avoiding the God who wants to do the work in you.

'He has brought down rulers from their thrones but has lifted up the humble

He has filled the hungry with good things but has sent the rich away empty.'

Luke 1:52,53