Now God

We cop a lot of flack for being the instant generation. Drive-through meals and drive-through coffee. Instant gratification and feedback through social network platforms like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. As a whole, we are considered impatient, demanding and self focused. There is no doubt some truth to these statements, but I believe that if we scratch the surface there is more going on than simple impatience and egocentrism.

An undercurrent of anxiety and uncertainty can be felt in our generation and it has conditioned the way we receive and respond to the world around us. Certain fixed ideals of previous generations have been exposed and proved as flawed. Dogmatism and rigid one-size-fits-all programs have left us scraped and bruised and our generation doesn't want a bar of it (and fair enough). But perhaps the swing of the pendulum has taken us too far in the opposite direction. We are floundering for a lack of any fixed truth. There is little that we can count on and on the whole, a vague sense of powerlessness and anxiety can permeate our every day life.
Given this context, it is understandable that we have grasped for the satisfaction of the instant and attainable. After all, what else is there to hope for? Yesterday has been exposed as a lie. Tomorrow is uncertain. What else do we have but the present moment?

The God of all generations exquisitely understands our position. As the Creator of the human heart and mind, He knows why we think and feel the way we do and He knows exactly what we need. We need a very present, very accessible and instant God. By instant, I do not mean that we need a God who is subject to our whims and desires and sense of timing, rather I am pointing to the fact that we need instant access to His presence, His power and His direction. And there is nothing wrong with this. In fact, In His Word, God has revealed Himself to be completely reliable and readily accessible to those who seek Him.

Consider the immediacy in the following statements.
- The Lord is a very present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1)
- The Word of the Lord is near, in our hearts and mouths (Deuteronomy 30:14)
- When we call upon Him, He hears us and delivers us from our trouble (Psalm 34:17)
- The Lord is near to those who call upon Him in truth. (Psalm 145:18)

A healthy relationship involves stability, presence and accessibility and God created things to be that way. He didn't create us with needs so that He could leave them unquenched.
The believer is given the divine privilege of constant, need-based access to the life and power of Christ. And the present tense of the great I AM is littered all throughout Scripture.
It is in His presence and perspective that we find the strength, wisdom and patience for the long haul. We are tempered and aligned to His purpose and timing. We recognise the redemption of the past and we take a stance of hope for the future.
God is a very present God.
A now-God for the instant generation.

'For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.'

Hebrews 4:15,16

One Step at a Time

Sometimes, from within our own perspective, it is hard to see the wood for the trees. We become discouraged and restless, sure that our problems will remain problems and that the way we are today is the way we will always be. From within our own subjective space, we can fail to see the progress we are making. We still feel the symptoms of fear and discomfort so we don't recognise that they are becoming fewer and further apart. We don't see the steps we have taken toward freedom, the ground that we are gaining day by day.

One certainty we have in the Lord is this: when we made the choice to invite Christ into our life, something miraculous took place. Something invisible, something spiritual. We were translated from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of light. Where we once were on a downward path, spiralling deeper into our sins and ignorance, we have now been miraculously transported to a different trajectory. We are not travelling toward death anymore, but life. Instead of despair, we are walking into hope and as such, we are assured that our future is a safe place. A place of redemption, restoration and recovery.

Even the painful experiences become a 'good pain' when we commit them to Him and choose to trust His words. Rather than bringing destruction, they offer an invitation to partake more deeply of our Heavenly Father's love and healing grace. In effect, even in our stumbling, we are still moving forward, onward and upward toward the light of a new day.

Christ is not confined to time as we are. God revealed himself to Moses as 'I am.' He continues to reveal Himself as a present God, always accessible, always with us. Able to transform our past with His healing revelation. Able to promise His presence in each of our tomorrows. And always present in each moment. In every heartbeat, every breath, as long as we shall live.

'But the path of the just is like the shining sun, That shines ever brighter unto the perfect day.'

Proverbs 4:18

He's Got This

'It's not your story. It's mine.'

These were the words that drifted down quietly from a bright blue afternoon sky as I sat reading on my back deck. The hum of a light aircraft overhead brought with it the comfort of the familiar. Of other warm, pre-summer days spent lazing and reading and hearing from God.

Behind the fence of our tiny strip of backyard grows a massive Elm tree. It's grandeur dominates the simplicity of our plain-grass-and-a-few-shrubs lawn. I watch it unconsciously throughout the year. Monitor its change from season to season. Always being surprised to find it in a different state the when I left it. This particular afternoon I wonder, when did it sprout that dense layer of vibrant foliage? I can see Summer in its wings and wonder how I never noticed until today. Last I remember it was a stretch of bare limbs against a grey sky. Now it holds all the promise of the warm season. All the regularity that I somehow, faintly understand, points back to the faithfulness of our Creator.

I'm recovering from a state of stress that had me in tears. How long will it take me to learn this lesson, I wonder? To wade through this dark night of the soul. And then, like the quiet puncture of the first evening star, come the words. Gentle but steady.
'It's not your story, its mine.'
This life of mine that I keep clutching and trying to control. It's His story. And He writes it in the language of redemption. Why do I always forget this? Why does it take the dam breaking, the bubble bursting?
This clutching business. This worrying and fretting. It needs to end.
Slowly, I think I am coming to understand.

'And He is before all things and in Him all things consist.'

Colossians 1:17

False Truth

I have questions that burn holes in my mind and my heart. Painful, angst-ridden questions that seem to come straight from the mouth of the child-version of myself living within. Throughout my journey, these questions war with my certainty and quietly wrestle Truth. They seem unquenchable in their hunger. Why did that happen? Is God really just? Does He truly care for me? Like molten metal they burn their painful holes through my life, leaving charred reminders of lessons-wrongly-learned that never seem to elude me.

What do I mean by lessons-wrongly-learned?

I mean those significant moments in life where the innermost questions of our being are (seemingly) answered with a truth unbearable and then all of life seems to confirm the reality. Questions surrounding our worth, the justice of God, our dreams and hopes.
Life deals a blow and we accept it as an answer. A proof that we are not good enough, that God does not truly care. That life will never be what we dream it to be.

The trauma inflicted by believing these false-truths can be ongoing. We can even know we are believing a lie but still, our mind, our memories and our emotions tug at our sense of truth. It must be true! We tell ourselves, or why else did this happen? I often wonder how much of my suffering is a result of believing a lie.

These days I am learning to recognise the heavy drag of a false-truth within. Lies deplete and they bind. They steal your energy, your hope and your worth. The truth, on the other hand, sets free. It is spirit and as such it is life-giving, hope-installing and redemptive in nature.

Sometimes the truth is quiet as a whisper. Sometimes it comes freely as a breeze, blowing away the lies. Other times it must be fought for and clung to like a life-raft on a storm-tossed sea.

'Show me Your ways, O Lord;

Teach me Your paths.

Lead me in Your truth and teach me,

For You are the God of my salvation;

On You I wait all the day.'

Psalm 25:4,5

Uncertainty vs Certainty

Recently, I had a discussion with my eight year old daughter as she lay in bed, ready to go to sleep. It had been a long day and I didn't anticipate that a simple tuck-in would turn into a long discussion on the things that were troubling her. She is an incredibly artistic child and my husband and I have watched as her creative gifts have blossomed over the years. However, this wonderful gift of imagination and intuition means that sometimes my daughter's thoughts run awry. She is able to dream up terrifying monsters and scenarios in her little head as she lies in bed at night. 'What-if?' is a question that sometimes inspires her but at other times worries her and she has the ability to think very deeply on issues surrounding her friends, their personalities and the conflicts that are so very troublesome when you are eight years old and learning how to live and relate to those around you.

As we talked, it began to dawn on me that my daughter and I are not so different in the way that we think. Like her, I delve deeply (often too deeply) into the thoughts and intentions of others toward me. I ask questions of what-if that leave my mouth dry and my knees shaking (there seems to be a never-ending supply of these questions at every turn of life). I feel the need to know everything and be assured of the outcome of issues that need time rather than thought to work out. Of course, I'm not afraid of monsters or my friends telling lies about me, but the questions behind both my daughter and my worries are essentially the same; 'What if things aren't ok? What if I'm not safe and things go wrong for me? How will I deal with those things that I can't control?'
We do not like uncertainty!

Through our discussion, I could see so clearly that it is not God's will for us to turn things over and over in our mind, trying to manufacture answers to things we cannot possibly know yet. Uncertainty is a part of life. For personalities like my daughters and mine, uncertainty is particularly terrifying, and yet it has the potential to lead us into a much more intimate walk with the Lord. As I sat on my daughter's bed, I knew that God was with my daughter, loving her and wanting her to rest her little mind in His protection. He wanted her to put her confidence in the reality that He would be with her as she faced her friends. That His loving arms were around her as she slept and He would be her confidence and her foothold as she faced whatever uncertainty was ahead of her.

The answer to my grown-up fears is no different. God is going with me as I get up each day. He will be journeying with me into every tomorrow for the rest of my life. Not only does He travel with me, but He promises to deliver me from my fears, to work all things together for good and to complete the work of Christ within me.

Knowing the answers to everything that lies ahead is a temptation that drives much of my thinking and yet God doesn't ask me to figure things out. He asks me to trust Him. No matter what comes my way, His presence, grace and good will toward me are a certainty and something that I can rest in.

'You have hedged me behind and before,

And laid Your hand upon me....

Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?

If I ascend into heaven, You are there;

If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there.

If I take the wings of the morning,

And dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

Even there Your hand shall lead me,

And Your right hand shall hold me.'

Psalm 139:5, 7-10

A Second Childhood

In an ideal world, we would all be raised in loving, stable, God-fearing homes. From infancy we would learnt His love, faithfulness and protection through the natural love and guidance of our parents. We would learn to use our gifts and abilities to explore life around us and grow in the confidence that challenges can be faced and overcome. Of course, we do not live in an ideal world. Some children are born into confusing, fearful environments where they learn to live in a state of perpetual anxiety and dread that carries well into adulthood.

Regardless of the experience that you were born into, whether you had a childhood you cherish, one you shudder to remember or something in between, let me encourage you, there is hope!

Someone who I respect greatly recently told me that God is less concerned at present with justice and more concerned with redemption. What that means is that despite the pain and unfairness of circumstances you didn't ask for, God has a beautiful story of redemption planned for you. And it starts here. Or there. Or way in the distance. It begins any moment that you ask Him to show you the way. His plan is restoration and it is a perpetual covenant of renewal and grace...His mercies are new every morning.

He will gently lead and guide you into the fullness of joy and peace that He has created for all His children, but it will take relearning. You may have become so trained and practiced in seeing the negative and expecting the worst that learning to trust again will be difficult. God is patient and kind. He will hold your hand and strengthen you as you submit your mind to His words of healing and truth.

God's offers us a second childhood. Another chance to learn the reality of His love, faithfulness and tender care.

It's called redemption.

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted

and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

Little Gifts

Have you ever experienced a moment when something unexpected happens, something undeserved and so surprising that you just know that God has been working on your behalf? I'm sure you have, whether you have recognised those moments for what they are or put them down to happy coincidences.

Today, one of those little gifts landed on my doorstop. In my letterbox, actually. An answer to a dilemma that had arisen just a few months ago. It's knotty implication had the potential to send me into a tailspin and yet somehow, deep down, I knew things would be ok. I just didn't realise how fast the Lord would work on my family's behalf. Isn't it funny how some things happen so quickly while other answers are years in the making?

I was reminded once more that my future is in safe hands. That there is a season to everything. That my Heavenly Father is working on my behalf, unbeknown to me, ready and willing to bring His blessings to pass in my life. In these moments, I am yet again convinced that worry is not only a complete waste of time but a deception designed to rob our peace. An answer is always on the way - regardless of how quickly or how slowly it is to arrive - and the child who reminds themselves of this is the child who can rest in the Peace of Christ.

God is faithful!

'Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.'

James 1:17

Anchor Point

Over the course of my life, my doubts and worries have set me drifting restlessly like a boat on a storm-tossed sea. My temptation is to turn every fearful thought over in my head, somehow believing that if I think it through enough, I can make it disappear. Unfortunately, even when I manage to solve one concern, another one crops up before I even have a chance to catch my breath.

This is the nature of fear. Like the constant thrash of the waves, it is merciless, snatching the peace that Christ has given to us and leaving us exhausted and battle-weary. Of course, there are times when questions and concerns must be faced squarely, but often we must make the cold and deliberate decision to fix our thoughts on God's Truth regardless of our doubts and permeable emotions.

The unshakeable reality is that my position on God's Word cannot possibly alter its certainty. However, the peace of my journey depends largely on whether I choose to anchor myself to God's reality or allow myself to be tossed by fearful fantasies.

I have an anchor point. He is more certain than anything I dream up, any emotion that tugs at my faith and any experience that leaves me questioning.

Praise God, He is a Rock unshakeable!

'The Lord on high is mightier

Than the noise of many waters,

Than the mighty waves of the sea.'

Psalm 93:4

Changes

Moments of uncertainty. Someone once told me that these are opportunities: they are proof to the flexibility of our life and lead us into new options, paths and variations.

For me, uncertainty leaves me quaking. I like the familiar and the predictable. Even if the familiar is not working so well.

These days, my thinking is being pushed to new parameters. I am realising that my approach needs to change. I have friends for whom change fills them with excitement and energy. I guess it depends on the types of change. I certainly have friends who are comfortable enough in their knowledge of the hand of God that even unpleasant changes soon become rhythmic and adaptable.

The comforting realisation for me of late is that my thinking does not alter the certainty of my position in this life, which is safely tucked in the hand of God. Hedged in front and behind and with His hand to guide me. Quaking or not, this is as much truth for me as it is for my sure-footed friends. We have the same Father and because of that, our future is certain.

'Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

Isaiah 41:10

Foundations

So here I sit on my sunny verandah and it is the first of firsts. The first time I write without an audience to a little black hole in the universe. It is a diary of sorts: a record of my travels. The destination? A deeper walk with the Lord. An understanding that will slowly transform this weary, tired and confused little body into certainty, comfort and confidence in Christ.

As I write, I struggle with anxiety. It has always been there, lurking beneath the daily in various forms and strengths throughout my life. At times it is so small - my mind so certain of the truths the Lord has revealed that I feel I will never again doubt, never be swayed by fear and uncertainty. And then, life happens and I'm thrust once more into the crashing waves, disorientated and uncertain that my Stronghold is secure.

It is a strange and humble thing how permeable this little body of ours is. My heart can thump and my mind can spin, but somewhere, far within I sense a deep still. A gentle calling to a higher understanding of who my God is. Slowly, but surely, He is untangling the mess of thoughts and imaginations that cast me into fear. And what is fear, but a false reality? The misuse of our creativity to dream up a world without the safety of a Loving Father.

But that is not our destiny. It is a terror untrue. The faithfulness of God means that He cannot and will not leave His children comfortless.

'And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever— the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.'

John 14:17-18